Chapter Sixty-One

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

How You Remind Me

Nickelback

Daniel’s words were all Calla needed to hear. Although leaving Nicholas was the last thing she wanted to do, she jumped off the bed, pushed her Husband out of her way, and exited the room in a huff.

“Mom!” Nick called after her though his body felt too heavy and laden with sorrow to get off the bed. “Mom, please, I need you.”

Out in the hall Calla hung her head as his words gripped her heart.  She looked back toward the room where her Son was grieving the loss of his own son and his wife. She wanted to return to him, to comfort him and tell him that, at least eventually, everything would be all right.

“Mom?”

“I love you, Nicholas.” Calla called back and then continued down the hall with a heavy heart.  She just couldn’t go back in the room and face what Daniel was going to ask of her.  Couldn’t do it to herself or Nick the last thing he needed was for his Father to tell him he had to sleep with his Mother.  It was cruel and unfair. Nick couldn’t handle that anymore than she could right now.

“Don’t think Ares is gonna do us much good, Danny, how ‘bout you?” David asked as he tried not to smile.  He knew Callie was never going to go for this, never mind Nick and Ares.  If she didn’t say ‘yes’ then Danny had no chance at all of getting Nick and Ares to go along. One thing David could say for both of them—and himself—was that they’d learned their lessons and they would never hold her down and take what they wanted from her again.  Not even if it would save her life.

“What was that?” Nick asked again as she rolled over feeling drained and strangely invigorated at the same time.  “Isn’t someone going to answer me?”

Daniel and David would have loved to answer Nick if only they had an answer to give.

“Jesus,” Nick bitched, “I want my Mother.” It sounded like such a childish thing for a 35 year-old man to say but it was the truth. She had been making him feel so much better before they came in and chased her away.  Now he felt like breaking down and blubbering like a baby once more but worse than that he felt alone, more alone then he’d ever felt in his life.  He felt like…like…like…

No Ocean, No Horse

Yeah, he felt like that painting, just as Calla laid it out on the canvas.  Desolate. Dried up. As though once he had had everything but he'd lost it all and now he had nothing but the clothes on his back. Loved and Lost.  He wasn’t sure that it was really better than ‘never having loved at all’. He did know he couldn’t stand this feeling any longer and if his Mother could make him feel better, if she could soothe him and comfort him then he was going to after her.

“If you’re just going to stand there I’ll get her myself.”

“Let her go, Nick, she’ll be back.” Daniel advised. “She just needs some time to think that’s all.”

Planting his big feet on the floor Nick looked up at Daniel with watery bloodshot eyes. “Think about what?”

David let out a little snort. “Whether or not she’s gonna sleep with you…all of us.”

“Sleep with….I thought we settled that…” a sudden realization came to him as he gazed up at Daniel with wonder. “That light,” he looked down at his own hands, turned them over, and back again. They still tingled. “That’s what Mom needs, isn’t it?”  Now he turned his eyes to David. “That’s what you do…what you’ve done all these years, isn’t it?”

“I help or I used to anyway,” David admitted.  “You can still hate me for it like you did when you were a teenager, I don’t care.”

Still reeling Nick hung his head. “I don’t hate you.” He whispered. “Not anymore,” he confessed, “I was…”

“Jealous,” David offered.

“I used to think why you? You are not even one of us.  I wanted to be where you were so badly I could have killed you if it would have made a difference.” Nick agreed and felt ill. “I’m sorry, Dad.” He looked over at Daniel with wet eyes. “I had some problems back then…”

“I know,” Daniel agreed.  “Now? Still got those same problems?”

Nick shook his head. “No. I understand now.” That he did, maybe he understood all well now.  Just like his run before he left Earth and the vision he had of his younger self. He’d been in love with his Mother back then, a real Oedipus, but maybe that was because of Gaylord and past lives and because Mom wanted him to be ‘normal’ and not an Olympian. That was her mistake. Perhaps she should have let Ares take him away from home for a few years, teach him, and school him in how to be an Olympian Male. Calla was afraid that if Ares took him away, even for a little while, the man she got back would be following in the footsteps of the God of War. “None of it makes this right. Why don’t the two of you just do…whatever the hell it is you do…and make her better?”

 “It’s complicated,” Daniel sighed, “since I became an Olympian it just doesn’t work anymore but your Mother knew that was going to happen before she Accepted me.   When I first…met her…” Daniel said and cleared his throat knowing those weren’t quite the right words but they were close enough, “I was quite literally her life support system.” Nick’s eyes narrowed on him in bewilderment. “I know it’s all so hard to get your head around, isn’t it?  Then I lifted that bind and she lived on her own, just like you and me, for a long time but she still needed me just not as much. After I became Immortal it didn’t work at all. Then David came along and…” he smiled sadly, “well, and…that’s all, you know the rest.”

“She’s never going to go for it, Dad. She’s never going to let me….” He shook his head sadly, “and I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t let me either not after what I did to her.”

“That’s not it,” Daniel said softly and sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. “You are her pride and joy, Nick. From the moment you were born right up until this very second…”

“Some pride and joy I am.”

“You are to both of us. You’re her favorite; you know it although she’d never said it out loud.” It was Daniel’s turn to let out a little snort. “Sometimes I wonder if she loves you more than she loves me.  In her eyes, you are everything. Her hopes, her dreams…”

“Her fears, her worst nightmare. What the hell kind of Son am I?”

“The kind who loves his momma.” David said.  “All the rest of that’s in the past.  You know she forgave you before Amy was even born. You do know that…right?”

“Yeah, well, my Mother has a big heart.”

“Big enough for the whole world.” Daniel agreed. “That’s part of her problem. She loves you so much that the idea of using you for her own ends, even if it means saving her life or her soul, just isn’t something she can bring herself to do.  She doesn’t want to be like your Grandfather even though she loves Ares dearly.”

“Doesn’t she know she could never be like Umpa? Never. Not like that. She can be very strong and stubborn…obstinate like Umpa but she’d never hurt anyone like that. I won’t believe she would.” Now Nick understood a little better. Ares could have given Daniel the Red Ambrosia without any strings attached but he didn’t. Instead, he used Daniel’s sudden and severe wound for his own purposes by making her sleep with him so that Ares would save Daniel’s life. Then Ares went and did it again that night on the beach when Nick lost all control of himself.  “Look, Dad,” he said in a low voice, “even if by some miracle Mom did go for this, I don’t think I could hold up my end. Not now.” He didn’t want to say it in front of David but what choice did he have? “I haven’t had sex in months and you know it, I couldn’t even do it with my own w—w—w -wife.” He stuttered as the image of Annie naked and alone in the tub came to him. “Oh Annie,” he moaned and hung his head. “This is just so unreal.” Still, if he stopped and thought about it, Nick would say that a few moments ago as his Mother had been lying in the bed with him comforting him in this horrible time of grief, she had been taking something from him but she had been giving something back as well, something more than comfort. Strange as it sounded, whatever it was she gave, felt like heart, fortification of some kind and love, always, always, love.  “What do I do, Dad? Tell me…what do I do? I hurt her once so bad, so bad,” he mumbled and shook his head. “I can’t…she can’t.”

**

Barefoot in six inches of newly fallen snow and without a wrap to bring her warmth, Calla wandered out to the cliff edge to stare at the ocean.  How could Daniel still be insisting on this?  Why couldn’t he see how much Nicholas was suffering?  How could he possibly expect their Son to do something so dastardly, willingly, when his heart was cleaved in two? It was beyond callous.

The cold winter air made her old bones aches but brought her eyes to life as she gazed upon the starry night glistening over Poseidon’s domain.

“Just a bag of bones,” she muttered to no one and wrapped her arms around her slender frame in a half-hearted attempt to keep warm as her toes began to turn blue in the snow. “I am good for one thing,” she said to no one, “still I am good for this.”

If what Wolfgar really wanted was to deliver her to Oblivion, then she would oblige and in return, he would leave Nicholas and the rest of her family in peace.  It was a small price to pay for so much happiness.  All she had to do was find the little bastard.  If he wasn’t on the Islands and, as Jack said, he was not in space nor had the pathway been used between the time Daniel went to Sengul and his return—other than for Wolfgar’s return, of course—it stayed silent leaving her Grandson no way off of planet Earth with her Family in tow.  They had to be here somewhere.

She thought of Athens and Eros’ house.  It had been decades since she had been there. The stone would hide them from the Olympian’s view but it would not dull the captive’s powers and Wolfgar would need that.  Even one as powerful as he would have a hard time keeping three full-blooded Olympians in line along with the rest of them, each special in their own way, therefore he had to be keeping them some place where their powers were made mute…like Zeus’ Dungeon on the Islands but….

A shiver went through her as a thought began settling around her.

A sharp voice pulled that thought away, shattered it like glass. “What are you doing out here?”

Calla looked to her right to see Maeve fluttering by her side. “What do you want? You’ve interrupted my train of thought and I was on to something.”

The ancient little faery pursed her thin lips. “Don’t go jumping over that edge just yet.” She advised.

Looking from the old woman to the cliff side Calla put a hand on her hip. “Jump over the cliff? I wasn’t going to jump over the cliff, what are you talking about?”

“Weren’t you? Isn’t what you were thinking and jumping the same thing?”

“No it isn’t and I’ll thank you to stay out of my mind, you’re not welcome here.” She tapped the side of her head as she shook it. “Eavesdropping on people’s private thoughts is very rude.”

“No ruder then when Ares took you to Kanan, hey?”

Calla turned on her heels, almost slipping in the icy snow. “What did you say?!”

“Kiki,” Maeve said thoughtfully, “she is just about the same age you were when Ares brought you to Kanan, isn’t she?”  Fluttering there in the cold air Maeve saw that Calla was not going to answer her, mainly because Maeve was right and secondly because this was a forbidden subject.  “What do you think Wolfgar is doing with Kiki…with your Granddaughter…right…now?” She dared.

“He wouldn’t dare!”

“No? Didn’t he wipe out the population of an entire planet? What makes you think he will stop at this? Holding her down and taking what he wants from Kiki is…well…beneath him, why would think such a thing?”

“She’s just a little girl!” Calla shrieked. “Just a little girl,” she said again a much softer introspective tone.

“His goal is to destroy Nicholas, isn’t it?  Well, on his way to delivering you to Oblivion and then on to rule this world?”

“Hades didn’t tell you this, he just told us.  Yet you knew, Old Woman? You knew of this and you never told me?”

“What good would it have done to tell you what I suspected?” Maeve asked still with the challenge in her raspy voice.  “I knew, as your Mother did what you are in this lifetime and that was all I needed to know. Ares’ Daughter, forbidden by Zeus, yet you are here. Feared by your Mother, whom you destroyed, yet you are here.”

In this lifetime, the words rang in her head and she wondered why she could never be the simple things she wanted to be and other women enjoyed so easily; wife and mother.  Why did she always have to be something else…something more. “I’m tired of riddles and games. Just go away.”

“Listen to me, Callestah Bryn, you are weak opening that pathway has left you vulnerable. You know it and they suspect it.” She pointed to the manor house.  “Even though you refuse to show it to them. How much energy is it costing you keep up the appearance of your rediscovered health?”  The men saw her as they wanted to see her, which was better than when they left her but that did not make it so. “You are fading faster than a canary in a coal mine. If you are to prevail, you must be strong, stronger than you have ever been. All your Children and your Grandchildren need you now, will you turn your back on them just to save your pride? I never thought you to be that foolish that stubborn.”

“Pride?” Calla railed. “You stand there and speak to me of pride when all I want is to refrain from engaging in sex with my Father and my Son?  What is prideful there?”

“Your reluctance will be their downfall,” Maeve warned. “Pride goeth before a fall, my dear child, you’ll see.”

“No, it won’t.” Calla insisted and then turned away from the old faery.

“If you do not do this then everything you have worked for here will crumble under Wolfgar’s fist. Your Family will cease to exist. Not just that,” the little woman on the fluttering wings hovered right in front of Calla’s face as she spoke her next words, “he won’t be happy with Altair Ain, he won’t stop here. Wolfgar will not be sated until he destroys this place and all those in it before he does the same to the remainder of the planet. To the mortals who can do nothing against him.  You remember that as you stand here freezing warm only in your pride and your morality. A morality the world may die for.”  With that, Maeve took her leave by fluttering off on her iridescent wings to rise and fall on the wind as she made her way back to Duncan’s house.

Kiki, she was so young and so innocent and if that son of a rotten bitch laid a hand on her… “I’ll kill him,” she choked and tried to hold back the tears.  If he did to Kiki the things Kanan had once done to her and she did nothing to stop it, she could never live with herself no matter how short of a time that might be. “Don’t you touch her, just don’t you do it.” She whispered to no one. “Please?”  Yet, God told her this was true in her deep sleep. He said that Wolfgar had all the Girls and Aiden. He told her that Wolfgar impregnated them all and intended to kill them, all but Lilly, upon delivery of the babies they carried.  In her heart she knew that God did not lie to her, no matter what Daniel and the rest said, He did come to her in her dream. She heard His voice in her ear. She had.

Yet, hadn’t God also been trying to tell her that such a thing was Sinful?  That it was wicked?  Hadn’t He led her through the depravity of Festival unharmed? Taken her safely away from there; her own Divine Escort. Yes, He had. Why? Because such things were wrong, they were wicked and evil. 

Would it still be wicked if she did it with good intent?  To have the chance at rescue for those she loved? Would God still smite her and turn her away?

Hades would not, the Judges would not, but they were not God.

Calla found she had no wish to return to Oblivion.  Although she had yet to fully remember her time there, she had sensations, images, feelings, all of which wanted to be memories but could not quite make it.  None of them were good.  Therefore, in doing what was being asked of her, they may well save her body and restore her strength as they damned her for eternity.

No matter how she looked at it, to Calla, there weren’t many options.  None that was viable or even acceptable.

By now, perhaps Wolfgar had even bent Colleen to his will as well, the thought made her sick and her knees weak.  Perhaps by now, his seed tainted all of them, all of those lovely beautiful girls. Aiden? What was happening to him? Young and strapping, she thought Raven and Tula might be having a grand time with him. Maeve was right, her entire Family was at Wolfgar’s mercy, and if she went to him, he would gladly escort her to Oblivion and then go forward with his wicked plan anyway.  He would not stop until Nicholas was destroyed.

Even if God was on her side, this wasn’t truly a matter of just stiffening your upper lip and swallowing your medicine, now was it? Certainly not.  Although she felt it a great personal risk, Calla thought that she could deal with Ares though she would prefer not to do it right in front of Daniel. However, if this was going to transpire then Daniel’s presence was a requirement for all of them…especially when it came to Ares. David, well, that was all right with her after all he was Daniel just in a different way.

All of that, the three of them, she could do. She could take that and still go on after even she was damned for eternity for it.

There was Nicholas.

Starring out at the dark churning ocean, Calla screamed “Not my Son!”  Someone…anyone at all…anyone but Nicholas. Why couldn’t it be Duncan? That would be a bitter pill but she could get past it…maybe. “Not Nicholas,” she said mournfully. “There must be another way.”

**

Leaving Nicholas and Daniel to have a little Father/Son time, David went down the hall in search of Ares but found the Old Man’s room empty.  That funny little creature Adoy was staying down at the inn along with Sam and Jack, maybe he went down there. Maybe he was somewhere else in the house. David tried the master bedroom but found it empty as well and after searching the entire second and first floors he looked around and asked himself, “Well where the hell did he go?”

Ares went for a little trip to the Underworld to meet with Hades. “Why did you do it?” He demanded to know as they sat in the Black Palace at Hades’ table.

“Do what?”

“Don’t play games with me. Why did you send Calla to me, as my Daughter, knowing your own Brother forbid such a thing? How desperate were you?”

“Truly.” Hades returned with a grimace and handed Ares a chalice of Nectar.  At first Ares did not accept it until Hades assured him the Nectar was from the Upperworld and he was not trying to trick the God of War into an early death. “I know what Zeus feared in you, it’s what we all fear in you, but I had little choice. The others, their souls were not ready and hers was. I had to send her to you; I could not keep her here any longer and risk Oblivion finding her. When I got wind of Aphrodite’s plan to bring you that which you desired most, a Daughter, I thought it a perfect fit.”  He sat back on the black leather chair and took a deep breath along with a long swallow. “I had no idea what was going to happen next.” Yes, what Aphrodite did out of fear was quite unexpected and Hades had thought that the soul he had come to call Little One would return to him soon but she did not. This surprised him and it still did. “You know, Zeus was wrong, you had problems but, then again, haven’t you always?” He said with a smirk and a raise of his chalice. “Callestah mellowed you, she turned your world upside down first, but she’s been good for you especially these last few years.”

“Problems? How very politically correct of you, Uncle.” Ares said with a snort. “I was horrible Father to her.”

“Not the best in the world but you’ve gotten much better.” Hades complimented.

“How bad is it?”

“I told you all I had to tell.” Hades leaned forward.  “There is a development you should know of. The Mortals have been using Calla for years to develop weapons against us. Poseidon says they have several of them capable of incapacitating or killing us outright. Perhaps Wolfgar is not the only one who seeks war with us, to overthrow us.”

“They’re afraid,” Ares intoned as though it were nothing.  “What they fear they seek to destroy.”

“You can’t be telling me that you condone this? Using Calla this way?”

“Never.” Ares insisted.  “I do understand their reasoning and their motives. I’ll speak with Samantha when this is over.”

“Hummm, you do that, as for the rest of us…”

“What? You’re leaving the planet again?” Ares huffed and crossed his brawny arms over his chest.

“No, dear Nephew, we’re simply not going to show them any favor for the time being.”

That was fair enough. Ares could see all points of view on this one and was almost certain it would all straighten out in the end. “I ask you for the last time; are you sure there’s nothing else you want to tell me about Calla?”

“Such as?” Hades prodded.

“Such as why the Jackson Brothers, Nicholas and me. You really didn’t cover that in your little story.”

“Didn’t I?” Hades asked himself. “I thought I did.  Ares, she just formed such a deep bond with each of you…I can’t explain it,” he said and leaned forward across the table. “I sent her to the Upperworld after her life as Helena and she withered and died within the first year of her life. There was nothing wrong with the infant,” he proclaimed quietly, “nothing at all.  I tried it again, well; I must have gotten the same result a dozen times before I sent her back to the Olympians.  It took me a while to catch on that, for a reason unknown to me, she actually needed the four of you around her or, at best, no less than two.  Without even one of you she never made it past her second birthday. I thought for sure that she would return to me when Aphrodite left her with Morgan Le Fey, how she managed to live so long this time without at least one of you near her.”

Ares didn’t meet his Daughter until she was nearly six years old but after that day she was never out of his sight until…well, until all that unfortunate business took place. Other than that, it was Jackson. Jackson was near her, Ares knew that, maybe it took him a while to show up on the scene as a young boy but he and David managed it. For the years she spent with Kanan, she lived on hope that she would see Jackson and him, Ares, once more.

“She took best to you when you were her Lover, when she was old enough to handle you, which she always managed to do very well, I should add.” Hades smirked again and refilled his chalice.  “Nicholas worked best as her Brother; she loved to tell him secrets. Daniel always worked best as her Husband,” he waited a second to see if Ares would rail at that or not but he did not.

“So it has always been Jackson after all, hum?” He nodded his raven head and pursed his lips. “He’s always had her heart.” Ares wondered if he had always been her Lover behind Jackson’s back.  If that were true then maybe he did not always have her heart after all.

“He will always have her heart.” Hades said as gently as he could. Reading Ares wasn’t difficult. “This isn’t the way it always was, of course, just the way it seemed to work best.”

“David? David Jackson? Worked best as Calla’s Father in each lifetime? The man can’t tie his own shoes!” Ares huffed. “What kind of Father could he be?”

“Think of it; think of how he treats her.” Hades encouraged. “The rest of you let her get away with murder but not him; he’s always looking at her with a keener eye, isn’t he?” Hades paused and watched as Ares silently nodded. “If he had known his child in this lifetime he could show you.” Hades complimented.

“David Jackson has a child?”

“He did, she’s gone now.  Her name was Lilly, she was a school teacher, but she passed several years ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Ares was getting visibly upset. If a man had a child in this world then he had a right to know that.

“It wasn’t my place,” Hades answered honestly.  “Will you tell him now?”

“No,” Ares said and breathed out a heavy breath. “All these years, you should have told him, he could have had a chance.”

“So you do think he would be a good Father?” Hades led.

“Perhaps.”

“You surprised me this time around.  Well, you did share of fucking up, dear Nephew in your own inimitable way, of course. You always do things like that so…big.” He whispered and stood up from the table.  “Yet when it all comes out in the wash, you do love her as a Father should. I’m proud of you, Zeus would be as well.” He complimented and tried not to sound condescending.  “I understand why and how it is hard for you to stop looking at her as a woman, so many lives with her in her bed, how could you look at her any other way?” He said with a touch of sympathy. “If I could have done it another way this time I would have but she died young last time and they lived on. By the time they arrived in the Underworld, she had already been here too long.  I waited until David and Daniel were ripe enough to return and sent them back together hoping they would find her.  Nicholas took much longer and the only way I could bring him to her this time was as her Son.  Eros wasn’t much of a Brother I’m afraid.”

“No, he wasn’t.  Not to mention he was born a few millennia before Callestah…and five hundred years before Helena. That left him out of the equation, didn’t it?”

“More or less,” Hades agreed.  “She didn’t take to him as Helena; she didn’t much care for Eros.”

“Helena was too ugly for my narcissistic Son.” Ares touted with a laugh. “As Callestah she adored him.” The laugh disappeared from his deep voice.

It was time to end this meeting and the little trip down Memory Lane and Hades gestured toward the open doorway between the dining room and the living area of the Black Palace. “I’m sure they’re looking for you by now.”

Never being one to overstay his welcome, Ares rose from the table.  “She’s not going to do this, you know.  Do you even know if it will work?”

“I know you can be very charming and persuasive when you wish to be,” Hades complimented.

“Not that charming,” Ares mused.  “No one is that charming.”

“Ares?” Hades called as the big man began to walk away. “If you think it will help…at all…” he stammered, “tell them, Calla and Nicholas, they were each other’s first loves. Perhaps this knowledge will ease things for both of them.”

**

“I can’t find him.” David said as he walked back into the room where Daniel and Nicholas were talking. “I don’t know where he went.”

“Who?”

David jumped and grabbed his heart at the sound of Ares’ booming voice behind him. “Don’t do that! Nearly scared me half to death. You, we were looking for you.”

“Here I am.” Ares retorted. “What do you want? Where’s my Daughter?”

Nicholas groaned and hung his head once more. “Where are my daughters?” He said in a low frightened voice. 

Although the ‘s’ on the end of the word ‘daughter’ nearly made Daniel flinch he held it back. Amy was Nick’s daughter, at least biologically, and Nick had every right to feel the way he did. Amy always resisted Nick’s attempts to reach out to her, if not to explain how Amy came to be at least to let her know that he was there and he loved her as a Brother and a Father. “He’s got my Daughters and my Son and my Granddaughters, too. Don’t forget that.” Daniel told him. He hadn’t lost sight of the seriousness of the situation by any means. Grief was powerful but Love was stronger although Daniel felt horrible for Nick and for his own loss of Danny and Annie, there were the Living to be concerned with and the Living always took precedence over the Dead.

End of Chapter Sixty-One of
Golden Years
by Moon Mistress
a/k/a Lisa Beth Darling
Go to
Chapter Sixty-Two