Chapter Two

No Chance,
Yeah that’s what’cha got
No chance
{No chance in hell}
you gonna take what's mine, you're just too frail
{You can't beat me} you ain't got no chance in hell
{You can't see me} you ain't got no chance in hell
Vince McMahon’s Theme Song—No Chance In Hell
Dope

Lights flashing.

People cheering.

People booing.

People shouting.

Smells of stale beer and popcorn.

“So, how do ya feel, champ?”

“What?”

“You’re just moments away from the fight of your life, literally just minutes away from battling it out with the undisputed King of the Ring. Come, Doctor, tell the people out in the audience and those on our Pay-Per-View audience at home….with so much on the line tonight…what’s going through your mind?”

Daniel’s head cleared and recognized the man in front of him from long long ago.  His name was Gorilla Monsoon and he had been a professional wrestler but now he was a ringside announcer.  Gorilla’s thick horn rimmed glasses sat on his slightly apish face while that ever-thinning patch of salt and pepper hair puffed out at the sides from sweat. As the fog lifted he noticed something else, someone was standing behind him rubbing his shoulders very briskly. Same said shoulders were bare and he looked down at his body to see it clad from the waist down in a pair of brown and gold wrestling tights and a matching pair of tall boots on his feet.  With a mixture of anticipation and trepidation he turned around to see who was rubbing his shoulders and saw a mocha skinned man with a huge fluff of dark hair.

“I tell ya brudda,” he spoke in his broken English and Samoan accent, “The Doctor here he’s gonna clean the Lord of the Ring’s clock, you can take dat to bank, brudda.” He was so excited spittle flew from his lips.

Snooka.  Jimmy “Superfly” Suka.  Another face he remembered from days gone by.

“Ain’t dat right, brudda?” Jimmy asked Daniel “The Doctor” Jackson.

“Yeah,” Daniel agreed hesitantly, “gonna clean his clock.” He hit his fists together and the crowd that he couldn’t see but could hear went wild.  “Gonna beat him to a bloody pulp!”

More cheers and chants of “Doctor, Doctor, Doctor” from the curtained crow.

“It’s been a long time comin’,” Gorilla mused, “They’re calling it the Grudge Match to End All Grudge Matches.”

“Are they?” Daniel asked as he danced around on his feet a little bit shifting his weight from one to the other. “Then I guess that’s what it is.”

“You’re really geared up for this, aren’t you?”

Daniel had no idea what Gorilla Monsoon was talking about but it sure felt that way. “Long time.” Daniel agreed.  “Gonna knock his block off.”

Gorilla Monsoon turned back to the camera.  “You heard it folks, our Main Event is set to begin after this next match.”  The camera cut off and Gorilla held out his hand. “Good luck, Danny.”

“Thanks,” Daniel muttered shaking it vigorously.  Even Daniel Jackson had been a boy once and maybe he didn’t like sports but he always marveled at the way these guys flung their bodies around and beat the ever loving shit out of each other only to come back and do it again next week.  He looked back at Snuka.  “What’da ya wanna do?”

“Why don’t you run a shot lap?” Snuka suggest in a  calmer voice that was more New York than Samoa.  “Billy and Randy will be beating on each other for the next fifteen minutes.  Gotta keep your adrenaline up.  Take a piss if ya need to.”

Daniel didn’t have any idea who he was stepping into the ring with, but he felt as though he could go ten round with Satan himself and come out on top so he took a quick lap around the back area of the wrestling set up here in some arena he didn’t know the name of or even what town they were in.  He was part of the wrestling circuit now and he was going go out there and kick some ass for a crowd who, obviously, did not view him as the bad guy.  If nothing else, that meant he was supposed to win the match…it was a foregone conclusion in the world of professional wrestling; good always triumphed over evil.

Running his lap he felt the comfort of the boots on his feet. If you’d asked him earlier he would have said they were uncomfortable and even heavy but they weren’t. They were light and well padded the laces of the shiny brown and gold boots ended just below his knee.  On each side was a symbol he recognized but could not place at the moment. It looked like a pyramid with a circle over the top.

“Ready kid?” A deep voice asked and Daniel stopped jogging to turn around.

“Mr. McMahon,” he stumbled and felt as though he were meeting royalty though he had no idea of why.  He’d met Kings and Queens, hell he married a Goddess but right now Daniel felt like he should bow or something yet he refrained.

Vince McMahon, master of the professional wrestling universe, stood there in his outfit for the evening.  Tonight he was playing “Mr. McMahon” and was dressed in tuxedo minus the tie.  “It’s your first one of these, the crowd loves ya, Danny, don’t be nervous. Go out there and give ‘em one hell of a show.”  He encouraged with a greedy smile.  The crowd roared again and Vince looked up to the monitors which were displayed all over the behind-the-scenes area.  “That’s it, you’re up. Billy left Randy bloody and now they’re all warmed up for you.”  He reached and slapped Daniel hard on his bare shoulder.  “Got get ‘em kid, give ‘em every dime’s worth.”

“I...I will, sir. I will.” Daniel stumbled and waited for Vince to leave before rubbing the area. That hurt. Suddenly music started blaring in the arena and the announcer began his routine.

“Dat’s it, Danny, let’s go!” Snuka said as he came around the corner.  “Deep breathes, hurry, quick ones,” he ordered and the two of them raced back the way Daniel had come and toward the entrance to the arena and the waiting crowd.

The music got louder and louder. So loud it made his ears rings and he wanted to shield them but that wouldn’t be any good. He couldn’t go out there like that.  So instead he just grooved to his own theme song;

You think I'm cute, a little bit shy
Momma, I-I-I ain't that kind of guy
Doctor, Doctor
Gimmie the news
I got a bad case from lovin’ you

“Here he is at 6feet and weighing in at 180 lbs….Daniel….The Doctor….JACK-SON!”

One last deep breath and Danny and Snuka emerged from the blue silk curtain into the arena where they stopped and waved to the crowd taking in their applause and their accolades while the music pumped them up and the light show pulsed taking the crowd higher into the bloody thirsty frenzy.  Daniel turned around and held his arms up in victory as he felt the rush of energy around him.  The light show flashed but so did thousands of cameras not to mention the video cameras following him down the ramp from behind and on the sides…unseen to the Pay-Per-View audience at home!  At the foot of the metal steps leading to ringside Snuka put a hand on his bare shoulder and gave him a smile.  Daniel climbed into the ring still holding his hands up high and taking in his accolades while Robert Palmer belted out his raunchy little tune and the crowd sang along at the top of their lungs.

The bright lights overhead went out. The music stopped. In the darkness the ring announcers voice rang out. “And in the other corner.”

“Wait!” Cried a voice in the dark. “I’ll do this.”  The lights came up again and Mr. McMahon was making his way down the ramp as his theme song played; No chance, ya got no chance, no chance in hell.  It warned.  Mr. McMahon in his casual tuxedo grabbed the  microphone from the ring announcer. “Go sit down.” He barked.  “A man like this deserves a proper introduction.” Mr. McMahon told the crowd who immediately began to boo and hiss.  Standing there watching him Daniel swore his could see the cash register running at full tilt and hear it going cha-ching, cha-chiing, cha-chinnnnng! In his mind as he stood there being booed by the crowd who’d paid to come to do just that.   Say what you wanted about him but Vincent McMahon was one hell of a showman and a very sly businessman.  Who else would have thought you could make such an obscene amount of money by making people hate and despise you? “Shut up!  All of you just shut up!” He roared into the microphone as his face turned red.  “You don’t deserve to be here tonight…” he turned and stared at Daniel. “None of you do.”  Mr. McMahon turned back to the booing crowd.  “None of you is good enough to step into the ring with this man.” 

Chants of You Suck, You Suck, You Suck went up, joined and got louder.

Cha-ching!

“Shut up!”  Mr. McMahon roared once more.  “Here he is,” he said in a loud and regal voice as he began to do his trademark peacock strut around the ring.  “The Undisputed World Heavy Weight Champion and the Best Damn Wrestler That Ever Lived!”

BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Shut up! You ingrates!” Vince shouted and swiped at the crowd with an angry hand.  “Standing an incredible 8 feet one inch tall and weighing at 400 lbs…the one and the only….Lord of the Ring….ARES!”

The lights went off again only to be replaced by black and purple lights. Loud pyrotechnics went off near the ramp and in a flash of fire and puff of smoke Ares appeared on a FatBoy in the middle of the ramp where he gunned the engine with much delight.  His theme song blared through the speakers and the pyrotechnics went off once more as he began to roll toward the ramp grinning and bopping his head to his tune.

I am the bullgod...I am free

And I feed on all that is forsaken

I'm gonna get you

I see through you

I'm gonna get you

BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  Half the crowd shouted.

Ares! Ares! Ares!  Chanted the other half.

But no matter what side you were on you were on your feet and screaming at the top of your lungs here at the arena or as part of the Pay-Per-View audience at home!

Ares rode the bike around the ring, his big boots propped up on the front foot rests and his dark eyes hidden behind a pair of even darker shades. Putting down the kick stand and shutting off the engine he was accompanied to the ring  by a man Daniel didn’t recognize at first.  Ares entered the ring not by parting the ropes and stepping through them but simply by stepping over the top rope as though it were nothing more than a line on the ground…or in this case, a line in the sand.

Ares tossed his head back, his long dark hair flew around his face and his head catching the shine of the over lights. Vince raised Ares hand as high as he could in victory. Vince McMahon was no small potatoes in size or physique but Ares made him like look a child as he stood next to him.

“C’mon, Danny, over here.” Snuka hissed from his corner.

Daniel stepped back without taking his eyes off of Ares or the man next to him; “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, that’s who he was. The kilt should haven given it away immediately! Pipe was another figure from his childhood and it just so happened that once upon a time “Rowdy” Roddy Piper smashed Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka in the head with a coconut smashing said coconut to bits and sending Jimmy to the hospital.  The ring men were arch enemies from way back and had also fought in the

Grudge Match To End All Grudge Matches
Long time comin’
Knock his block off!

“No fuckin’ shit.” Daniel said aloud and took in the sight of the God of War…no, the “Lord of the Ring”, standing with Mr. McMahon. Ares, Lord of the Ring or War was clad in his traditional black leather head to foot—it went well with the Hog and the shades, both of which were new additions for Ares.  Ares had a few small chains on his vest and studs on his gauntlets and boots.  Other than that he appeared as unarmed as Daniel who was by now feeling that adrenaline flow Snuka spoke of earlier and found he was just itching to get as his opponent and whale on him for every rotten thing the Lord of the Ring had done over the years.

Suddenly the lights went down again and then they focused upward as Vince McMahon, his long and handsome face now dark sinister as it was lit from beneath, began to speak again in ominous and dark tone.  “Welcome to Hell in a Cell.” He said and the cell which had been suspended over head throughout the night began to make its descent as the lights stayed with it and flash bulbs went off. “This is a hardcore match is scheduled for no falls, no submission and there are no holds bared.” Vince warned.  “The only way out is….”  He held the microphone out to the crowd.

“Through the door!” 35,000 people said as one.

“That’s right. The only way to WIN is to be first…”

“Through the door…feet on the floor!”

 “That’s right! First one out the door with his feet on the floor wins!” Vince motioned with his hand a serious sneer for the audience to quiet. “This is the Grudge Match of the Century!” Vince growled and the crowd went wild. After all this was what they come here to see! The Main Event!  “Along with deciding the new Undisputed Heavy Weight Champion this match will also decide the fate of the Lovely…..” he turned to the left and lights came up, cameras followed him for the benefit of those at home and those present by being displayed on the huge monitors above.  “Lady Calla, the Goddess of the Ring”.  It was the first time he was cheered rather than booed. The Lovely Lady Calla’s theme music played through the huge speakers:

She's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother
'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

“Come up here, darlin’ and let the people see you.  Isn’t she beautiful?” Vince asked the crowd. “C’mon, Lady Calla.”

The crowd cheered at the sound of her name and she blushed and held a hand to her face while she held the other over her heart and gazed around at the crowd from her seat at the Announcer’s Table where she was sitting with Gorilla Monsoon and Jerry “The King” Lawler.  Vince was staring directly at her and held out his hand for her to come and join him in the ring.

Calla gracefully rose from her seat to show everyone she was dressed in a silver and white cowgirl outfit complete with little boots and gun belt. Her auburn hair had been teased beyond belief and the sides were secured to her head with huge combs in true 80’s fashion, too much mascara and eyeliner on her face. She waved to crowd as she made her way to the ring.  Ares put his foot on the bottom rope and pulled up the second and third so high she didn’t have to duck to enter.  The crowd clapped, whistled and roared their approval of the woman in the ring who smiled through too much lip gloss and waved at them with a half-hearted hand. 

“Since these two….gentlemen….can’t decide which one of them gets to have the Lovely Lady Calla…”

Around her the crowd shouted the names of their favorite suitor hoping that she would pick one at the last minute and knowing they’d go home very disappointed if she did.  “Tonight’s match is for all the gold, boys. Let’s have a little recap!” Vince McMahon growled into the microphone. “Remind everyone just why we’re here tonight.”

The lights flashed and went down again, that was everyone’s cue to leave the ring while the cage was lowered and overhead the huge screens came on and gave everybody in the arena—and those at home!—a recap of the events leading up to the Grudge Match To End All Grudge Matches between Daniel “The Doctor” Jackson and the Lord of the Ring Ares. As the video played the Cell continued its descent from high above the ring.  According to the video the Lovely Lady Calla was the even lovelier arm piece of the resident Bad Boy of Wrestling, the man known as “The Lord of the Ring”. Back then she did not dress so demurely, no she was clad in black leather pants, just like her larger-than-life escort, but she had a matching black leather bra instead of a shirt.  She had chains on her biker boots and a blue bandana wrapped around her head.  She looked like a real Biker Bitch, the perfect foil for the Lord of the Ring until the young and dashing Doctor Jackson came along and stole her away from the big hulking brute one night after Ares lost a title match to a much smaller and lithe wrestler named Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat.  It showed Ares loosing his temper with the Lovely Lady Calla and pushing her to the center of the ring while he berated her and blaming her for him losing the match.  As he stood over her threatening her, from out of nowhere, came the dashing Doctor Jackson to the rescue of the beautiful damsel in distress.  The Doctor hit the Lord of the Ring in the spine with a steel chair, knocking him to his knees and then carrying a fainting Lady Calla from the ring.

After that It Was On.  Ares interfered in the Doctor’s matches causing him to lose quite a few while the referee’s back was turned.  The Lord of the Ring and his henchmen, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Triple H and some gruesome looking behemoth of a man by the name of Kane ambushed the dashing Doctor back stage one night. They beat him to a bloody pulp and left him bleeding and groaning on the cement floor of the arena.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  And other various hisses and expressions of displeasure came from the crowd as they watched the Lord of the Ring scoop up the helpless woman who was pleading for the very life of the dashing young Doctor and take her away. They whisked her away to parts unknown where they most certainly did unspeakable and evil things to the young damsel.  The next clip showed the dashing Doctor breaking in to the lair of the Lord of the Ring—a deep and dark cave—and fleeing with her in the middle of the night as the Lord of the Ring ran to the entrance of his home and looked on with dark and foreboding eyes.  “It ain’t over, doc.” The Lord of the Ring intoned and held up a thick fist.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The montage continued. The next up was the Lovely Lady Calla driving all alone late at night. Suddenly a bright headlight and a roaring engine came up from behind her.  The next thing heard was screeching brakes and Calla screaming as the car went off the road.  Then there was the dashing young doctor in the hospital caring diligently for the injured woman with the pink bandage wrapped around her head. That wasn’t the end of the troubles.  There was a dead rat left in Calla’s locker at one event and black roses delivered to her at another along with a big green bottle marked with a skull and crossbones.  The note read; Drink This Traitor. It’ll Be Quicker Than When I Get My Hands On You…And I WILL.

 The video stopped just as the 15 foot tall steel mesh cage finished being lowered the ring and was then secured and ratcheted into place by the trained staff of maintenance people.  “Want to kiss them good-bye, Lady Calla?” Vince asked as he slipped an arm around her waist. “After all, Lovely Calla, one of them isn’t coming back.”  Vince said in a threatening yet excited voice.  With a look of horror and dismay on her pretty face Lady Calla ran to Danny and kissed him but said nothing. Across the way, on the other side of the steel cage, Ares let out a loud growl.  Turning away from Danny she blew a kiss to the giant across the way before Vince McMahon led her back to the Announcer’s Table where she would sit and watch the match.

 The big hulking men at ringside opened the door to the cage. Daniel stood back to let Ares enter first, not wanting the man at his back but Ares insisted Daniel go first and so he did.  As he got one foot in the door Ares yanked him back from behind, threw him into the steel steps with an evil leer and then climbed into the cage to wait while the good and dashing doctor recovered from the blow.

Not too bad, Daniel thought, should have seen it coming.  He shook his head to clear it from the ringing sound and then made his way into the Cell.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

The match began.

The crowd went wild.

“And it’s ON!” JR, the announcer said excitedly into the microphone. “Folks this really is the biggest match up of the season. Who’s your money on, King?”

A bout of insane laughter. “Are you kiddin’ me, JR? There is no way….and I mean….NO WAY….The Doctor is gonna pull outta this one.” Jerry “The King” Lawler returned. “Come on, get a load of the size of the Lord of the Ring. Look at those arms! Look at those legs! He’s got no chance in hell.”

“A’ight, King, I’m not ready to count him just yet. Let’s see what this kid can do.”

“Pace yourself, Danny, slow, keep your eye on him, you know he’s a slippery sucker, brudda.” Snuka advised from ringside as he paced around their half of the ring watching the two men inside the cage.

Ares and Daniel danced around a little bit, not too much as they tried to measure and gauge each other as they’d done a million times of the years.  Finally, Daniel decided he’d had enough and charged at his opponent.

Ares stood in the middle of the ring, just stood there, watching Daniel come at him. When Daniel got within striking distance, he just raised his foot to a little below shoulder height.

SMACK! BOOM!

THUD!

Daniel got a big boot to the face and fell hard on the mat.  Ares laughed and stood over him. “Get up!” He goaded and stepped back.  “Come on…get up!”  He motioned with his hand for Daniel to get to his feet as he tossed his long hair in the air.  “You want a piece of me? You gotta do better than that.”

Daniel shook it off and stood up his vision blurry and his head spinning.  The bright lights overhead and those flashing in the darkness beyond as flash bulbs went off didn’t help him any. The crowd oohed, ahhed, hissed, booed and shouted for him go on.  He was the White Knight in this match-up, the Hero. You know, the pre-determined winner. Still, there was blood in his mouth and he was almost certain the boot knocked a tooth or two loose in his head.  Instead of charging at the much larger man he stood his ground challenging Ares to Bring It with his right hand.

Ares’s whiskered face broke out in an evil grin. The little bastard thought he was so smart. Ares would teach him who was smart and who was not.  If the two men had been equal in height then when they locked-up they would have done it properly; hands to shoulders but there was the matter of the extreme height difference and when Ares laid his big mitts on the Doctor’s shoulders all Daniel could manage to grab was the hair on his chest.  Which he did not hesitate to rip out by the roots.  Ares pushed him away, spat on the mat and said; “You fight like a girl.”  He snatched out with one huge mitt and slapped Daniel across the face hard.  Before Daniel could stop stumbling Ares picked him up over his head and threw him face first into the steel cage.  Daniel hit, bounced off and crumbled to the floor of the ring.

Awwwww  was heard from the frenzied crowd as Daniel stumbled to his feet.

“Get ‘em Ares! Knock the fuckin’ shit outta that little pip squeak!” Piper shouted at Ares.  “He ain’t shit.”

“Shut up.” Snuka said with a sneer.

“Want another coconut?” Piper shouted in return as he removed just such a thing from some hidden place in his own black leather jacket. “Got one right here, jungle boy.”

“We may have just as much action outside of the ring as we do in it,” JR commented. “Look at those two.”

“Yeah, I’m tellin’ ya JR, Snuka and Piper aren’t ever going to bury the hatchet….well, unless they can do it in each other’s heads that is!” His words were followed by another bout of his trademark insane giggling.

“You’re probably right about that, King.” Gorilla Monsoon said as the match continued. “I’m with JR, I think you’re wrong about the boy, he’s got spirit and….oh my God would ya look at that!”

“Jackson…Jackson now, Jackson is up on the top rope,” JR announced, “and what’s he doin’, King? Can you tell?”

“You can’t be serious….he’s not gonna…..”

Ares stood in the middle of the ring just waiting to see if the moron was really going to do it, certainly he didn’t have the sack or the guts for it.  Though he was dumb enough to try it, that much Ares did not doubt.

Daniel flew off the top rope hoping to connect with Ares’ throat in a harsh clothesline but the big man was just getting warmed up and stood there waiting, waiting, waiting and watching the man fly threw the air.  Just before he could connect Ares took one step back and nothing more.

SPLAT.

Daniel landed hard on the mat.

“Oh… my… Gawd!” JR exclaimed. “Did you see that King?”

“I sure did, JR, I don’t think he’s getting’ up too quick from that one!” Giggles.

Ares came in close and planted a big boot into the dashing doctor’s flank then, for good measure, planted a last cruel blow in the center of his back.  Come tomorrow, if there was a tomorrow for Daniel was now beginning to seriously doubt the pre-determined outcome he’d been counting on earlier, he’d be bruised from head to toe and in need of a good dentist.  Circling like a vulture Ares paced around him while Daniel pulled himself up to his knees in an attempt to stagger to his feet. 

Soft white underbelly far off the mat and exposed Ares let loose with another viscous kick and Daniel went back down to the mat certain he now had a fractured rib.  “Come on! Come on! Get him!” Piper demanded from the corner.

The crowd was insane.  All around them 35,000 people yelled, screamed, cheered, booed, jeered and demanded more.  Surely those in the Pay-Per-View audience were doing the same at home.

“Squash him!” Piper shouted at Ares who was gazing down at the vulnerable man.

“Finish this.” Ares intoned as he raised his right foot high in the air above Daniel’s head and prepared to deliver a final crushing blow.

“No! No!” The Lovely Lady Calla pleaded as she ran to the cage and grabbed at the steel mesh.  “Stop!” She begged of her former partner.  “Please.”

“Traitor!” Ares hissed and let go a load of spit and a good kick to Daniel’s left side. He threw his arms in air signaling for her to get away from the cage.

The camera followed the scene between the men in the cage and the lady outside as she wound her way to the door still begging and pleading for Ares to show mercy to the injured helpless opponent.  The big hulking men paid to guard the door and keep it locked until it was knocked upon by someone inside tried to block her way. They pushed her back and shouted at her to go away and back to her seat.  At first she tried to dodge them but they were so big!  She backed up a little ways, one came forward and the other hung back a little bit as combatant pairs often do.  Holding her hands up to show she meant them no harm she gestured toward the men inside and asked those outside to look. For a split second they did.  Calla slipped between them and made a mad dash for the door.  With the rod that held the door shut within arms reach she tumbled to the floor tackled by Rowdy Roddy Piper.  This brought Snuka out of his corner and Ares to the side of the cage where he gazed through the heavy steel mesh at the woman on the floor. She was groaning and bleeding from the head, her ultra short skirt hiked from the fall to reveal her lacy white panties and those lovely molded thighs to the world.  “What did you do?” Ares roared at Piper and was very visibly angry at the sight of this former lover on the ground in such an embarrassing and unlady-like position.  Ares grabbed the wall of the cage and began pulling, pushing and heaving on it as he shouted at his ring man. “Get away from her!”

Calla groaned some more and then her eyes fluttered open.  Everyone’s attention focused on the helpless woman on the floor and the feuding men around her, Daniel staggered to his feet.  He couldn’t beat Ares with a full frontal attack and he couldn’t do it by going for power hits.  Mustering up as much strength, anger and speed as he could, Daniel clasped his hands together, got a big running start and then flew into the air to land a double axe handle on the back of Ares’ neck.  The big man distracted felt the blow sharply as he crashed into the wall of the cage and then to his knees gripping the ropes as he went.  Keeping his hands together he gave the big man two sharp blows to the head before Ares fell full out onto the mat and it was Daniel’s turn to plant a few hard boots into the Lord of the Ring.

The crowd that had been so concerned and full of empathy for the half-naked beauty on the floor was now on its feet and screaming for blood once more. They were cheering for the dashing young Doctor…for Good to triumph over Evil.

Outside the ring Snuka helped Calla to her feet while the two guards stood between them, Piper and a coconut ready for flinging at any second.  The big Samoan kept his eye on Piper as he brought her back to the Announcer’s Table.  “Can we get some help out here?” JR asked into his microphone.  “This is young woman is bleeding!”

Two EMTs dashed down the ramp and bandaged her head while the two men continued to slug it out the Cell.

Giggles.  “You guys might wanna stick around,” the King advised. “Oh look at this! JR!”

In the ring Ares had risen to his feet but he was unsteady from the few blows to his head that Daniel delivered just seconds prior.  Seeing the big man so off balance Daniel took advantage, he again got a bit of a running start as Ares wobbled in the middle of the ring, grabbed by the left flank—the one he’d injured most severely with his boots—and used the momentum to spin them both around before flinging the big man into the ropes and the side of the cage in a very effective face plant. “Now we’re even.” Daniel hissed knowing he’d probably never be able to get his foot as high as Ares’ face from a standing position so delivering the boot-to-the-face maneuver was out of his reach.

“Get out!” Calla cried and pushed the EMTs away. “He’s down…get out!”

Daniel heard and looked around. Ares was down, his back was turned and perhaps there was enough time for him to get through the door and put his feet on the floor first. He sprinted for it. The guards were momentarily distracted by Piper but turned in time to see Daniel standing there. One of them slid the rod from the eye and the door opened.

The cheering roaring crowd started to boo and scream ‘watch out!’ ‘behind you!’ and things of that nature as the door swung open.  Just before he could stumble through it Ares pulled him back. Piper shoved the guard aside and threw a steel chair into the ring before Snuka grabbed him and yanked him away.  The guards stumbled to their feet and Daniel watched the door, now far from arm’s reach, shut and the guard locked it once more.  Ares had a merciless hold on Daniel’s foot and as he turned his back Daniel knew what was coming and planted his own foot in Ares’ back trying to shove him away.  It was no use, with one leg planted between his and the other on the side of him Ares turned around and pulled Daniel’s legs together, stretching the muscles to their absolute limits, and then let his weight go out from under him so that he crashed to the mat applying as much pressure as possible…just so Daniel would feel it in all of its glorious agony. The Figure Four Leg Lock was a submission hold not to be messed with. It had ended many a career and broken many a leg.  There were no submissions in this match. He could hold this position all night while the crowd cheered and booed and screamed for bloodshed yet denied them. Daniel could tap out even longer and no one would come to his rescue.  Throwing his massive body backward and clamping down with those well toned muscles Ares continued to pull and apply pressure to Daniel’s legs until he screamed out in pain.

With Daniel panting, screaming, sweating and begging below him Ares smiled and then let up when he’d enough of playing with him. The people came to see a show and show they would see!  Looking down with an evil eye Ares sauntered over to the steel chair, picked it up and proceeded to smash it down on Daniel’s head and torso.

The crowd counted off the blows from the chair;

Smash
”One…”
Pow!
”Two…”
Bash!

“Three…”

Crash!

“Four!”
Boom!

FIVE!”
Smack!
”SIX!!”

“The Lord of the Ring is just pummeling the Doctor, King!”

“I see that, JR!” Insane giggles of laughter.  “He’s really cleanin’ his clock. Bet the Doc’ll think twice the next time to he wants to step out with someone else’s girl!”

A little winded and bored but still satisfied from watching the good and dashing doctor cower on the ground like the sniveling little shit he was, Ares strutted off to the corner of the ring farthest from Daniel, yet as it happened was closest to Calla, and stood there. After a few moments he put his hands on the top rope and hoisted his big body to perch there so he could rest his legs.  From the corner he taunted Daniel who was bleeding and in agony on the mat. “Pussy! Get up you pussy!”

At ring side Piper joined in. “Yeah, fuckin’ pussy….goddamn geek! Get up!”

“Look at her,” Ares cajoled. “You’re not good enough to lick her boots. She’s mine.”

“Bet he can’t get his dick up either.” Piper taunted and ran the coconut along the cage.

Daniel lay there trying to catch his breath but it was so difficult. Everything hurt thought he was grateful that the pain and pressure in his legs had subsided. Still it was replaced by a horrible ringing in his ears and the taste of blood in his mouth. Daniel’s legs ached, they felt like overcooked spaghetti and he was afraid to try and stand on them.  There wasn’t any time to try them out gingerly. Using the ropes he hauled his body to stand on his feet.  Legs were numb and painful but seemed in working order. That was good but he couldn’t really say the same for his back which took most of the blows from the chair along with his head. 

Ares slithered down off the top rope.  The two men stared at each other for a long moment. The loud shouting crowd and the flashing lights all seemed to stand still.  There wasn’t anything but them or between them any more.  Ares and Daniel charged at each other at the same moment and locked-up mid-ring. They exchanged blows without stopping and without mercy. They both knew it, this had been a long time comin’ and there was no backing out and now backing down.  This one really was for all the marbles.

“Holy Gawd!” JR shouted into his microphone.  “Look at the punishment these two are dealing out!”

“Look at that!” Gorilla Monsoon said. “You can really tell these two hate each other.”

Insane giggles. “Hate? They despise….hell they loathe each other!” The King chimed in. “Will you look at them go at it? How long can they keep this up?”

“I dunno, King. I guess we’ll find out. So far they’ve been going blow for blow for the last thirty seconds or so and it shows no signs of stopping.”

Head to head, fist to fist and blow for blow they just stood there facing off and hitting each other for all they were worth.

“You’d think Jackson, would, like….” Giggles, “fall down or sumthin’.”

“You would think that, King.” JR agreed. “I don’t know how the boy is standing!”

“I can’t watch any more of this,” Calla groaned in a sigh and buried her head in the King’s shoulder.

Many insane giggles.  “Th-that’s all right, Lady Calla, you just stay right there. I’ll protect you.”  He hoped his comments wouldn’t get him in trouble with the Lord of the Ring after the match.  If he won this chick was way off limits to anyone but him.

In the ring, both of them battered, bloody and bathed in sweat they breathlessly called the brawl a draw. Daniel bled from a cut above his left eye and a nose that was surely broken. Ares’ lower lip was gushing Ichor on to the mat. He swiped at it with the back of his hand and then spat on the mat as he stared at Daniel with fiery eyes. Ares was too big to beat this way and Daniel was too pissed off. Each needing a new strategy they retreated for a moment only to start again by circling each other in the ring.  Daniel knew one thing, if he wanted to win, he had to get Ares off his feet and keep him that way.  There was one way to insure that. “Watch this.” He challenged then ran past Ares to the ropes, bounced off, ran to the other side, bounced off, ran to the other side, sprang off and Ares knew he was going to come in high so he reached up to grab Daniel by the throat and give him the Choke Slam From Hell when he landed but at the last second Daniel directed his body low and took the big man out at the knees. Ares crashed to the mat with a massive thud and a very audible groan.  Daniel thought he heard something crack in there but that could have been wishful thinking.  With him on his knees Daniel’s blows to Ares head packed more of a whollop. His forehead split open like a ripe melon Ichor poured from it, into his eyes, down his face and onto his leather pants.  Shaking his wounded head droplets of crimson and sweat flew in every direction catching the lights and landing on anyone nearby.  While he had the chance and wanting to increase his odds of getting to and then through the door Daniel hurled himself back and forth across the ring twice, bouncing of the rope and landing a viscous clothesline on Ares’ neck.

Ares fell to the mat in a crumpled heap.

The crowd exploded!

“He’s gonna win!” Monsoon announced. “Holy cow! I think the boy’s gonna make it!”

“He ain’t out yet, settle down old fella.” The King returned.

Daniel was at the door and it was being unlocked…slowly. The rod slipped out of the guard’s hand and back into the eye slot twice before he got a good grip on it. The crowd screamed ‘Open the door! Open the door!’   Just as before Ares was stumbling to his feet behind him. This time Daniel saw him and kicked out as Ares neared and the door opened. Ares stumbled back briefly but holding on to Daniel’s foot.  Daniel wiggled and pulled until he was free and one foot was outside of the ring but the other was still within Ares’ long reach. Throwing himself forward and coming down with all of his weight Ares grabbed that free foot, the one trying to get out the door and Daniel fell the mat, crashing down on his balls with one leg over the side of the ring and the other beside him in Ares’ clutches.  Turning around so that his back was in the doorway and both feet were in the ring he kicked at Ares. “I have had enough of you!” He bellowed and freed his foot. Daniel jumped to his feet with Ares hot on his heels and the crowd on their feet. 

One foot out the door again and Ares launched his body at Daniel smashing half of him against the cold steel mesh.  Daniel clawed at both sides of the cage with his hands struggling to, if not reach the ground, at least be fully out of the Cell even if he had to climb around the side a little before letting go and landing on the floor below.  His efforts successful as Ares grappled with him trying to hold him back. Both hands and one foot now outside the Cell he kicked at Ares one more time before bringing the last foot through the door.  Ares came out after him and as Daniel scrambled to put some distance between them they scaled the cage higher and farther away from the open door.

“What? What is this, King?”

“I dunno, JR, where the heck are they goin’?”

Drop! Drop! Drop! The crowd chanted.  But if they could see Ares from the angle Daniel did they’d know there wasn’t enough distance and….before he could finish the thought Daniel’s grip slipped. He slipped. Ares snatched out and slammed him against the cage smashing his face and body into the cold steel.

Yeah, that was what they would have seen coming.

Digging in with his hands and feet Daniel struggled to pull his body away from Ares and since over didn’t look like a good direction he went up and away from Ares.

“What in Gawd’s name are they doin’?!” JR exclaimed.

The crowd cheered and roared as they watched the two mortal enemies scale the outside of the cage to the very top.  Calla stood up and held her breath as she watched them face off fifteen feet above the ring.

They locked-up once more and exchanged blows at a height where even those in the cheap seats felt like they were sitting ring side.  Hits to the head, the body and below when they could get them in.

“Can you imagine the depth of the hatred these two men share?” JR asked with genuine wonder as he sat there awestruck watching the scene play out above.  Everyone in the arena, including the announcers was on their feet and staring upward.

Having enough of the exchange Ares snatched a bit hand and grabbed Daniel by the throat.  The frenzied crowd shouted and screamed, even if they hated him, even if they wanted Daniel to win this was something they’d come to see and man were they getting it good tonight.

“Oh no! Oh no, King! He can’t be serious!” JR shouted.

“I think he is, JR.” Insane laughter.

With a stern eye and a stiff hand Ares lifted Daniel off his feet by his throat. Daniel’s hands tried to pry Ares’ hand off of him as his air was choked off and his feet dangled higher and higher and the in the air. Ares’ free hand came around to support Daniel’s back but only to Ares’ advantage rather than Daniel’s comfort.  He lifted Daniel high into the air and then sent him crashing to the cold steel below with super-human force.  Daniel hit and then bounced off the steel only to crash land again.

“The Choke Slam From Hell!” JR announced in a loud voice. “My Gawd! Did you see that? Did both of you see that?”

“See it, I’ll never forget it.” Gorilla Monsoon said.

The Cell in front of them was shimming and quaking as it swayed side to side from the force of Daniel’s body being plummeted to the roof top of the structure.

“Daniel!” Calla shouted and ran to the cage for a final time. There was no sense in going inside. She had to go up.  Jumping up on the metal she started to climb while the men battled above.  Piper came from one side Snuka and the guards from the other but Piper got there first and ripped her off the bars of the cage by grabbing her legs. The man was far too strong not to be obeyed, her grip let go and she slid down the metal mesh to the floor.

“Get your hands off of her, brudda.” Snuka warned.

“Fuck you!”

At ring side another long awaited grudge match played out but it was short and not very sweet.  Snuka grabbed Piper by the throat and Piper let loose with the coconut. Bits of it and large drops of coconut milk flew everywhere as the hard fruit connected with Jimmy Superly Snuka’s head.  Snuka crashed to the ground.  The crowd boooed and started to throw things at ring side.

“Fuck you! Fuck all’a ya!” Piper spat at them. “Kick his ass!” He shouted to the top of the cell.

On top of the cell which was never build to hold anyone’s weight Daniel tried to catch him breath as he rolled onto his aching side and stumbled to his feet. 

The crowd cheered!

For the second time that night he stood across the width of the ring from Ares, held out his hand and gave the old Bring It! sign.  The motion incited Ares and he charged across the top of the cage bounding in large strides as he barreled at Daniel, the cell shaking and wobbling below their feet.  It was Daniel’s turn to hold his ground and when Ares came in to grab him, Daniel ducked, connected with Ares’ mid-section and hip-checked…..

….off the top of the cell.

Ares flew through the air for what seemed like eternity as the shouting crowd held its collective breath. Fifteen feet down and ten feet out from the cage, they watched the Lord of the Ring, his long dark hair flying out behind him and his arms waving at his side as he tried to slow or direct his descent but it was of no use.  The huge man crashed through the Spanish Announce Table face first splintering it into a million toothpicks, crushing the monitors and microphones and steel chairs below.  The Spanish Announcers hadn’t even had time to move to a safe distance as they stood there dumbfounded watching the man falling fifteen feet through the air to crash down upon their table. 

“Holy GAWD!”  JR shouted.  “Is he dead?  Is he…is he…dead?”

The insanely frenzied crowd suddenly went quiet. Ares wasn’t moving. He wasn’t even groaning.

“Oh my, JR, I think….I think you’re right….I think he’s dead.” The King intoned quietly.

“Oh, yeah, he’s dead.” Monsoon said solemnly. “No one could survive that.”

“Dear Gods!” The Lovely Lady Calla exclaimed and rushed over to where the big lay.  Looking up at the top of the cage she saw Daniel staring down at her.  What could she do? She’d been with Ares first and for a long time just because it was over didn’t mean she was no longer concerned about him.

“Medic! Medic! We need a medic out here! Move your asses people this man is HURT!” JR shouted into the microphone. An entire team of EMTs and even Vince McMahon himself came rushing down the ramp from back stage to tend to the severely wounded man. 

Suddenly they stumbled and flew backward as Ares hauled himself to his feet glaring at the man on top of the cage. Daniel dared him to come back up. Ares looked over to see Calla standing near him but she’d back away when the bodies started flying.  “You’re next.” He threatened.

“I don’t believe this,” Gorilla Monsoon almost whispered.

“He’s alive!” JR said.

“He’s standing!” The King returned.

The crowd went absolutely insane as Ares rose to his feet.

The bell rang.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

“What? What’s goin’ on?” The King asked in confusion.

The ring announcer grabbed the microphone.  “And your winner is….” he bent to hold Ares’ hand up in victory but Ares grabbed the microphone.

“It’s not over yet.” He hissed.  “Don’t you dare call this match. I’m gonna kill you boy!”

“What? What? What?” JR asked into his headset. “What the hell is goin’ on? Now he doesn’t wanna win?  His feet are on the ground.”

“Doesn’t he want the girl?” The King asked and seeing that Ares was indeed still walking, talking and breathing the King went back to his crazy laughing. “Hell, I want her, if he dun’t want her I’ll take her!”

Ares tossed the microphone down, laid a finger on the side of his nose and blew out a hard exhale through the other. Something flew out of his nostril and landed on the floor by the Announcer’s Table.  He looked up and then over at her again. “Go sit down!” He shouted at her. Calla turned away but not before he began to scale the cage for the final time.

“Was that….a tooth?” Gorilla Monsoon asked his colleagues in pure wonder. “Did anybody but me see that?”

“I saw it,” JR said….the world would see it a million times over in the days and weeks to come!  When Ares rose to his feet there was something white sticking out of his nose it was far too big to be a booger. JR looked over the table.  “It is a tooth.” He remarked looked at the incisor on the floor.

“OWWWWWW!” The King said loudly as he thought about what kind of hit you had to take to force your tooth out through your nose. “Damn!”

On the top of the cage Ares pulled back his Ichor stained lips in something that might have resembled a smile if it hadn’t been so evil and revealed a bloody gaping hole in the front of his mouth.  “I’m gonna tear you apart.”

Getting Ares back up here at been easy, he was far too prideful to ‘win’ by Daniel tossing his ass off the top of the cage.  No when Ares won it would be because he stepped on the ground under his own power.  Beating him was another story but he had a plan.  The cage was weakened and the place where he’d been choke blamed bowed inward severely, Daniel had been standing on it, bouncing on it even, as Ares got back to his feet and now stood across the way.  “Come on! What’s the matter…..chicken?” Daniel challenged.

That was it.  Ares ran across the top of the cage at full speed and Daniel stood there waiting for him bouncing in place.  Ares’ foot neared the bow and Daniel jumped out of the way so that the full weight of both Ares’ feet would land in the middle.  They did.

The bow gave way.

The big man once again crashed fifteen feet to the ground this time through the top of the cage to the center of the mat landing on his back and on the steel chair below.  The broken bit of roof hung like a loose flap and Ares was flat on his back.

From the intensity of the energy surrounding him, Daniel thought for one brief second that if they went any higher the people around him would all piss themselves. What a mess that would make.

Drop! Drop! Drop!  They shouted again.

Looking down through the top of the cage he picked the best side to scale down the one furthest away from Ares’ grasp and began to climb down.  It just so happened that wall also had the door….the open door.  Daniel got it and looked inside.  There was one thing he wanted to do before he left here but he didn’t know if it was possible.  Still, drawing, feeding, sucking down the energy around him he thought it just might be. Daniel Jackson got back in the caged ring. The door was shut once more.

Ares was out, as out of it as he could possibly get. He was moaning and groaning and his head was rolling around on the mat.  It took some work but Daniel turned him over so he was face down on the mat then finding the last bits of strength in him, he grabbed Ares by the belt loops of the black leather pants and hauled him halfway to his feet.  Daniel pushed Ares between his knees and clamped down on both sides.

“No way…no fuckin’ way.” The King said solemnly as he stood there watching. Later the FCC would fine him $50,000.00 for saying ‘fuckin’’ on the air.  “He’ll never get him up in the air. What is this kid doin’? He should have dropped!”

The crowd was shouting and cheering and roaring out his name; Danny! Danny! Danny!  He looked over to see a slightly battered Calla staring back at him in disbelief.  He thought she’d signal to him to stop but she didn’t. Instead she smiled and waited like everyone else.

With a great heave Daniel pulled Ares weight up over his feet so that his head was between Daniel’s knees and his legs sticking straight in the air over Daniel’s head.  The man was fucking heavy!  Still, the Doctor completed the move with style and grace.  Daniel jumped into the air landing hard on his ass but even harder on Ares’ head driving his head into the center of the steel chair and knocking him cold.

“Tombstone Pile Driver!  Can you believe it! That little sh--….Tombstone Pile Driver!” The King laughed uncontrollably.  “Have you ever seen anything like that?”

Daniel pushed Ares’ limp body off him, got up and walked to the door. He stopped to look back at his long-time rival. “She’s mine. You stay away from her, you got that? If you don’t I’ll come back and finish the job.”  With no one in his way and the door wide open he walked through it unhindered and leapt to the ground.

The bell sounded again.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Even through the thick walls of the arena the crowd’s roar could be heard almost two miles away.

“Here is your winner……” The Ring Announcer said in his deep booming voice and grabbed Daniel’s hand to raise it high in the air in victory. “And new Heavy Weight Champion of the World….Daniel….THE DOCTOR….JACK-SON!” A ring attendant rushed toward them with the World Championship Belt; a massive leather and gold thing that could never be used for holding your pants up. The scantily clad brunette slung it over one tired sore shoulder and Daniel realized the damn thing had to weight 15lbs if it weighed an ounce.  Still the roar of the crowd and rush of adrenelaine raged through him and for the moment he felt no real pain all.  Tomorrow he’d feel as though he’d been run over by a locomotive—several times—right now he felt like the King of the World but one thing was missing. “Calla! Calla!”

The Lovely Lady Calla pushed her way past announcers, camera men, reporters, fans and other assorted frenzied folk emerging between Vince McMahon and Snuka who had recovered nicely from his bout with the coconut.  “Danny!” She cried as he came into her view. “Danny!”  He was all bloody, sweaty and beaten but he was standing and he was smiling the widest smile she’d ever seen.  “Oh my Beautiful Danny!”  She flung her body into his arms and he scooped her up kissing her long, deep and full in front of the roaring crowd.

Overhead the speakers came to life and Daniel “The Doctor” Jackson’s theme song became to blast through the arena.

35,000 people yelled, cheered, shouted and sang along with the old Robert Palmer tune;
Doctor Doctor give me the news
I've got a bad case of lovin' you
No pills' gonna cure my ill
I gotta bad case of lovin' you

“Can you believe this?  This is the upset of the century, King!” JR said.  “Who would have ever thought that coming in here tonight we would see such punishment? Such mayhem and bloodlust?  These two really went at it. I tell ya I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

“No, nope, I can’t believe it,” The King agreed and giggled. “I just can-not believe it! When Ares wakes up….” More giggles….”IF he wakes up, he’s gonna be one pissed off dude.”

“You can say that again King but it’s over now. We have a new champion.” Monsoon said.

Out by the ring, Daniel “The Doctor” Jackson and his Lovely Lady Calla waved to the roaring approving crowd as they made their way up the ramp and toward backstage while Ares began to move inside the cage.  “You all right?” Daniel asked getting his first good look at her. “What did you think you were doing?”

“I’m fine.” She said with a grin.  “You? You don’t look so good.”

“I think I’ll live.”  At the top of the ramp he stopped to take one last look at the crowd.  Give ‘em a good show.  That’s what Vince said earlier and good show they got.  A damn good show.  Big gold belt over one shoulder and the other arm around her waist Daniel turned her toward him and gave the crowd what they really wanted to see to close out the night.  Believing that he would never be able to the roaring ringing in his ears to stop, Daniel swept her up in his arms and kissed her long and deep before he carried her off stage and away from the prying eyes of fans and cameras.

End of Hell In A Cell
ByMoon Mistress
a/k/a Lisa Beth Darling
Continue to Slumber in the Arms of Giants