Chapter Four

Day Three
Early Morning Hours
Midnight Confessions

Somewhere around 3:00 in the morning Duncan MacLeod was awakened by the soft sounds of a woman sobbing. Rising from the bed he opened the bedroom door but the noise got quieter he went back to the bed where he could hear it better and realized it was coming from outside. Duncan opened the doors to his balcony and looked down there was Ollie on the balcony below him curled up in a little ball on the cold stone and crying. He stood there for what seemed like a terribly long time waiting for Daniel to come out and soothe her and if he didn’t do it damn soon Duncan was going to go down there and wake his ass up. But Daniel probably couldn’t hear her, she was stuffed into the corner of the balcony with the stone wall between her and her husband the only reason Duncan heard it was because the sound carried upward.

Cold, damn it’s cold in here. Daniel pulled the blankets around him and woke up when he realized no one fought him for them. Reaching over to the other side of the bed he found it empty. “Calla?” Sitting up he was met with a blast of cold air and the sight of the open balcony doors. Bringing the quilt with him, Daniel rose from the bed and walked outside. There she was huddled in the corner sobbing and freezing. “Kitty what are you doing out here?” Daniel asked and put the blanket around her. “What’s wrong, honey? Are you in pain?”

Calla threw her arms around him and held on for dear life.

Seeing Daniel finally come out into the night Duncan ducked away from the balcony banister but didn’t immediately go back inside. He was glad he’d been able to help suck the poison out of her body but now it was up to the two of them to get it out of her soul and their marriage.

“Now that I’m better are you going to leave me, Daniel?” Calla said through her tears.

“Leave you? No, honey, I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know you’re in love with her you don’t have to stay with me.”

“It’s freezing out here, come inside with me, honey.” Daniel helped her to her feet and she leaned heavily upon him as they went back into the bedroom and he shut the balcony door.

Upstairs Duncan MacLeod returned to his bed.

Calla didn’t return to the bed they were sharing instead she stood by the fire and Daniel took her hands in his own. “First I’m not in love with Antoinette and I never was. You have to believe that.”

“You brought her to graduation.” Calla protested.

“Brou…no, I didn’t. She was there because her nephew was graduating.” Daniel explained. “I’m so sorry that you saw us, I know you were there, at the house, weren’t you?” Calla nodded and wiped the tears away. “You didn’t want to be with Hartley anymore, you wanted to come home to me.” That brought more tears and another nod. “I love you, Kitty. I don’t want her…” Daniel stopped and forced himself to spit the rest of it out. “Or any of the others.”

Calla flinched and then cringed she took her hands away and wrapped them around her shoulders as she turned away from him. “They can give you more than I can.”

“No they can’t.” Daniel turned her back around. “I don’t know why I did that, I can’t offer you any great excuse other than the wine and even that’s a shitty excuse. Sit with me,” he told her and she settled not in the chair but on the floor by the fire. “I want you to know something, ok?”

“What?”

“You wonder why all those women looked like Sha’re, don’t you?”

“Yes. I know I’m not much, Daniel, but was it all a lie?”

“No,” he whispered. “Listen to me, I wondered about it too for a long time and I couldn’t figure out why they looked Sha’re and I thought that maybe I was still in love with her. Then something happened and it made me realize that the reason they all look like Sha’re is because I love you.” She gave him a queer look. “When we make love, the way we Connect, Kitty it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Nothing I ever even dreamed of before you came into my life. It’s never cheap or meaningless, is it?”

“I didn’t think it was,” she mumbled.

“And you were right.” Daniel smiled for her and hugged her again. “Oh, honey, I don’t ever want our lovemaking to be like that…so damn tawdry and cheap and empty. That’s why they looked like her and not you. I could never do that to you, do you understand? I only want you. I never wanted to hurt you, I love you, Kitty.”

“Do you want me? Even after all I’ve done.”

“Oh yeah.” He said softly. “Why do you think we’re here? Just so I can clear my conscious and then leave you?” Calla shrugged her shoulders. Yeah that was what she thought. “No, honey, we’re here so we can work this out. You’re more than enough for me. In fact, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I’ll never love any one the way I love you.”

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” Calla laid her head on his shoulder and moved a little closer to him.

“Because I’m a stupid pig-headed stubborn fool.” Daniel told her and wrapped his arms around her. “You gotta know all I wanted to do was ask you to stay with me but…” he paused before going on. “I was angry and I was hurt. Well, you know, Andrew Hartley was a damn good looking guy, he was rich and famous in his circle and I thought you were in love with him. That maybe I wasn’t good enough for you anymore.”

“Me? In love with Andy?” She asked sharply. “Not for a minute, Daniel. I swear. I never loved him…and…he…never loved me.” Suddenly Calla turned her head upward to look at him. “I wasn’t having an affair with him.” She stopped and pursed her lips. “Everything was such a mess after you went away. Tom and Antwone dead. Reporters everywhere and my picture on the Internet and then….and then….” She stopped again and whispered, “that goddamn site came back. The phone never stopped ringing and there were people everywhere. I needed you.”

“And I wasn’t there. I’m sorry, Calla. I should have been with you.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t kill Tom and Antwone, did you?”

“Ah, no, I didn’t.” Daniel answered. “Still I know it must have been very hard on you, you’re such a private person.” He brushed the hair away from her face. “You knew what I was doing, didn’t you?” Calla cringed again. “It’s all right, you can tell me.”

“I had awful dreams about you and….” She trembled before saying the name, “Sha’re. You wanted me to…to…” she couldn’t give voice to the thought because it would make it too real for her, “and then I made that painting. It was supposed to be something different I didn’t know I’d painted that until I showed it to Andy. I realized you didn’t love me anymore and it hurt!” Calla almost doubled over as she pointed to her heart. “Daniel it hurt so much.”

“Shh, I know it did.”

“Andy was there. He had a steady supply of goodies that made it not hurt anymore, made it so I didn’t have to think about it. I just wanted it to stop hurting. I didn’t want to cheat on you. I promise, I swear to all the Gods, I didn’t sleep with him until after.”

Looking at her Daniel knew that as far as she was aware that was true. Nicholas told him about how she got lost in New York City and how she didn’t come back to the hotel until the wee hours of the morning and that when she did she reeked of Andrew F. Hartley. Kitty didn’t know that and she didn’t know that it wasn’t a dream she had in Daniel’s office that night. He didn’t want to tell her the truth, what good would it do either of them? Andrew F. Hartley wasn’t the type of man to pass out the goods so easily, not without getting something in return. “I believe you didn’t have sex with him until after you left me.” Daniel told her. And by then having sex wasn’t high on Kitty’s list of things to do because her scars returned. In the all the months she was away from him and living the high-life she’d never more alone. “You did other things for him, didn’t you?”

Calla frowned deeply, nodded her head and began to cry as she pulled away from him. “I didn’t let him touch me until after.” One hand started pulling on the hair at her head and the other clutched between her breasts. Daniel got the message, blow jobs and pearl necklaces, that’s what she gave good old Andy in return for the drugs and his company. ”I’m weak and I’m no good. It’s not your fault. You’ve tried very hard with me. I know you have.”

“Stop that,” Daniel took her hands away from her head and her heart. “You’re very good. You’re a wonderful wife and a fantastic Mother.”

“Don’t patronize me, Daniel, I know I’m not.”

“Yes you are.” He assured her.

Calla ignored him. “But I can be. Soon my powers will return and I can be any woman you want me to be. Any woman.”

Daniel remembered her changeling trick and it was very impressive when she turned herself into an image of Rowan MacNeal that night in the cabin but he wasn’t interested in a repeat performance never mind a long term one. “Then be you because that’s who I love and that’s who I want. Trust me, honey, I wouldn’t be here with you if you weren’t. He wasn’t very good to you, was he, Kitty?” Daniel didn’t wait for her to answer. “That night in Venice, I followed you after you left. I know where Hartley took you.” Calla looked as though she were about to be ill. He’d like to tell her that he knew about the shower and the incident in the limo as well but Daniel didn’t want her to know that he’d been reading her diary, she already felt violated there was no need to add invasion to it. It all seemed rather unfair after all Daniel got his rocks off several times off world and, if he was honest with himself, in the moment he enjoyed the hell out of it. Kitty got stuck with Hartley and then got slammed by her own Father as she bargained for her Husband’s life. “I was an idiot, like the rest of the world I believed what I saw on the television, you looked happy with him and he was taking you places and doing things that I couldn’t. I’m sorry, honey, I should have known better. We’ve come too far and gone through too much to let Andrew Fucking Hartley and those women come between us. You complete me and make me feel whole and I won’t let you go that easily.”

“You should.” She told him. “My own Mother didn’t want me, Daniel, why should you? You’ve got Eternity now to find a woman who will love you and give you all the things you want.”

“I already found her.” Daniel kissed her cheek. “Cal, what is it you think I want?” Daniel thought he already knew the answer to that question but he wanted her to say it.

“You can keep her if you take me back, I won’t say a thing, I promise. I’ll do whatever you want with her. A man should have many women and many children.”

Daniel just sat there shaking his head trying to come up with the words to say to her. She was offering to let him be like Hartley and bring home whatever woman he wanted whenever he wanted him and fuck them in their bed. The last thing Daniel wanted to be was anything like Andrew F. Hartley. Calla didn’t like having sex with other women that much was very apparent in her eyes. “You don’t believe that, and that’s why it hurt you so much when you realized what I was doing,” he whispered. “I know that’s why they taught you but in your heart you don’t believe it. You believe that marriage is sacred and so do I. A man should not have many women but he should count himself damn lucky if he’s blessed enough to have just one woman who loves him. I don’t want Antoinette or any of the rest of them, I only want you. I don’t want you to be afraid that I’m just going to walk out the door or bring a stranger through it to our bed. I won’t do that, Kitty. I know what it’s like to live without you now and if I have to spend Eternity without you I don’t think I can take it. Forever looks like one long, lonely and, might I say, boring place, without you.”

“Yeah, what will you do if you don’t have to put me back together every now and again?” She mocked herself. “That would be just awful.”

“It would.” He told her with all sincerity. “Ares told me what you gave up to make me Immortal….”

This was the first time Daniel brought up his new Immortality. Calla knew he was upset about it and that he’d never asked for it but there wasn’t anything she could to take it back. “Don’t be angry, I didn’t know what else to do!” She cried. “I’m sorry. I just wanted you to live and be my Husband again. Our children need you. I didn’t want to burden you with Immortality, Daniel, but I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t help you, I was too...weak and strung out. I had to take you to Ares.”

“It’s not a burden, Calla, it’s a very wondrous gift and I should have been more appreciative of it from the start. It came at a very high price for you. I’m sorry about that, Calla.” Daniel told her. “What Ares did was wrong no matter what his excuse is.”

Again she shrugged her shoulders. “I knew what he was going to demand of me before I brought you to him and I know why, but I hoped he wouldn’t go through with it. I didn’t believe he would...do that to me. Very foolish, I know.” Calla brushed fresh tears away. “It was his last chance. I love my Father, warts and all, Daniel. All the Gods know I’ve tried to hate him for that and so many other things but I can’t. There wasn’t anything else he would have done. If I didn’t love you so much he would have let you die. He’s jealous of you and the way you loved me. The Olympians, we live so long, so goddamn long, the rules get all blurred and nothing means anything after a while because it just goes on and on and on.”

“Hum,” he intoned but left the rest alone. Forever was a long time and he had that long to keep dealing with Ares because Callas’ Father wasn’t going anywhere and Ares did go to the Under World to make sure they both came back unscathed. Yes, for all of his ugliness and all of his faults, Ares did love his Daughter. Maybe a little too much but he did love her. “But I can’t heal you anymore. Coley says that’s because I don’t have a Mortals’ Heart anymore, is that true? Is that why your scars came back?”

“You stopped loving me,” she whimpered.

“Only for a little while,” Daniel whispered. “It wasn’t long at all, I promise, it wasn’t long, Kitty.” Calla held her arms out to him and Daniel scooped her up while he rocked her back and forth on his lap. “And the healing part?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled against his neck. “Maybe one day.” Calla pulled away from him to look at him with sorrowful eyes that were filled with hope. “Mortals, you live so briefly, you feel everything more intensely because you know it will end soon.” She traced her fingertips along the outline of his face. “Always so full of zest and life.”

“And now…what? I know there is no end so I just can’t love you the way I did? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? I don’t believe that. I love you more right now than I ever have.”

“I haven’t lived long enough to answer you.” Calla told him. “We’re still young. However, from what I know and what I’ve seen, eventually, one day, you’ll wake up and find yourself so bored and empty that you just have to do something really big, something that will cause a big bang, to make yourself feel better. Make yourself feel alive again.”

“Why?” What was that song? He didn’t know but the line was; “so I let it go to hell and now I have something to do.” Was that what she did? Every now and then, she erupted like this because boredom forced her to it? He thought about Ares and Hades standing on opposite sides of the river bank. There was a chess match which would make Bobby Fisher envious. Did they do it just because they’d been bored for so long that they had to have a really big disruption to make them feel alive once more?

“Because after a few hundred years you’ve done everything there is to do and seen everything there is to see and nothing is new anymore. Your heart grows cold.” She told him. “I never want you to feel that way that’s why I never offered to make you Immortal. I don’t want to see that fire faded out of those beautiful eyes.”

“As long as I’m looking at you I don’t think there’s any chance of that happening.” Daniel didn’t think about it when he brushed his lips over hers he just did it. It was a very brief but very sweet kiss and Calla licked her lower lips when he pulled away. There was fire in her eyes. “We’re not like them. We’ve got mountains to climb and other worlds to visit and grandchildren and great-grandchildren to raise and enjoy.” He told her with encouragement and sincerity. “We’ll never be bored.”

“But…perhaps…we could be…lazy…once in a while?” She asked with a little grin.

“I can handle lazy.” Daniel returned her smile. “You know, sometimes, I even enjoy lying around in bed.”

“Only sometimes?” Calla cooed.

“Well, anytime you’re in the bed with me.” With his wife in his arms Daniel stood up. “What do you say? You want to lay in the bed with me?”

“Always.” She put her arms around his neck and nuzzled her cheek against his. “I love you, Beautiful.”

“I love you too,…..Ollie.” Daniel cracked with a smile.

“Oh, no.” Calla groaned. “It’s Kitty to you, Kitty.”

“I dunno, I kinda like Ollie,” he laid her down just as the sun was beginning to peek through the windows. “I love you, Kitty.”

To Calla it seemed she’d been walking through a maze of long dark tunnels for months on end and now she had the chance to walk into the Light once more. A great weight on her shoulders shifted and waited to lift. “I don’t know if I can do this, Daniel.” There was that sorrowful hope again in her voice and her eyes. “I want to….so much.”

“I think you can, Colleen’s magick is very strong,” he laid down next to her.

There was a very long pause and Calla thought about what Daniel said. “Whatever we do is all right?” She asked softly. “No matter what it is, it’s still love? It’s not dirty?”

“As long as we both agree and it doesn’t hurt, yes, whatever we do when we’re alone is all right.” There was more to what she was trying to get across to him. “You don’t have to give me the details about Hartley if you don’t want to.” No, he had enough of those to make a full picture.

Calla wanted to tell him she was just unsure of how he was going to react. She sat up on the bed and pulled him close, cupped her hand over his ear and very softly whispered the details of her last night with Andrew Fucking Hartley to him. Listening to the words she said Daniel’s heart broke for her as the tears welled up in his eyes. That dirty rotten son of a bitch if he wasn’t dead already Daniel swore he’d tear him limb from limb. When she was done she pulled away with tears in her eyes. “Still want me?” She asked.

“More than ever.” That was the truth. If nothing else he knew he could treat her better than that limey bastard had and she deserved to be treated well. “We don’t have to do this, Kitty, not yet. It’s ok if you want to say no.” Daniel waited but she didn’t say anything she just reached for his hand and held it to her lips. That was her tacit way of saying yes to him. “If you want to stop we will. Don’t be afraid to say stop, ok Calla? I don’t want to hurt you so don’t let me.”

“Apples.”

“What?” Certainly she wasn’t telling him she was hungry and wanted an apple.

“Apples.” She said again.

It took him a few seconds but Daniel got it, Calla Speak was a language one never really forgot once they learned it. Calla had been conditioned never to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ over the years they’d spent together that conditioning faded away but Hartley and even Ares had reinforced it for her as of late. Apples, it was a good safety word. She could say that without too much trouble and he’d know what it meant. “Apples.” Daniel agreed. Maybe he was being selfish and maybe he was asking her to do too much too soon. “We don’t have to do this at all, Kitty, not right now. It’s been a very long few months for both of us but especially for you. You need to heal and you need to rest. I don’t want to rush this. We can just lie here all night and talk or cuddle or whatever you want. I’ll be more than content with that. I treated you very badly and I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again. I promise if you ever want to leave me again I’ll get down on my knees and beg you to stay, I don’t want to lose you, Kitty….”

Calla was instantly reminded of just why she loved him so much. “Kiss?”

A kiss, he could do that.

It was the first time since the night before he left that his lips connected with hers and it was no passing brush which descended on her but a long deep and passionate kiss from him to her. That weight which had been waiting to lift took off and she felt lighter than air as she pulled him closer to her, she felt as though she could do anything once more. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too.” That kiss it was better than all those women combined. Just that one kiss set his heart on fire. It had been so long since they’d made love Daniel thought he’d lose his mind but still maybe they should wait.

“Ha’nok re.”

Touch me.

He could do that too. She was still wearing his shirt and it did have buttons and he was still a very big fan of buttons. Daniel kissed her again while he undid the buttons on the shirt and his hand gently cupped her small breast. Even as he kissed her, Calla smiled. “You feel that now?”

Her hand closed down over his keeping it in place. It was warm and soft and she could feel every inch of it on her. “Yes.”

“How ‘bout this one?” He asked with a sly smile as his free hand cupped the lonely breast on the other side. She didn’t have to answer him, Daniel knew she felt his touch by the way she was looking at her and the way her heart was beating rapidly below his hand. “You know, I really like these, Kitty. I was very upset when I saw what you’d done to my favorite toys.” Daniel said easily. “Hartley wanted that, huh?” Kitty pursed her lips and nodded. “You’ve always been enough for me, more than enough. I can’t say that I’m very happy about the way those implants came out,” Daniel cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow at her, “but I’m glad they did. Now you have to promise me that you’ll never do anything like that again…not ever. I’d go insane without you by my side. Promise me you’ll never let it get that bad and if you ever feel like that again you’ll come and tell me right away. I’ll help you, I won’t think you’re weak or belittle you. It takes a strong person to admit when they need help. I know you’re strong so promise me.”

“I swear.”

“Good and I’m going to hold you to it.” Daniel told her and then lay down next to her.

“Daniel?”

“Not yet, honey. Come lay in my arms and rest.”

Calla looked at him with questioning emerald eyes and let out a little whimper.

“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I don’t want you. Believe me, baby, I do. You need to rest so come and cuddle with me.”

“I love you, Daniel. Please don’t turn me away.”

“I love you too and I’m not turning you away. I’m not angry with you I just want to wait a little while, ok?”

Calla pulled away from him. “You’ve someone else to satisfy you?”

“No.” He said in a strong voice and wrapped her up in his arms while pulling the covers over her. “There’s no one else and there never will be again.” He promised. Still Andrew F. Hartley and the things she’d just told him were too fresh in his mind and hers. When they made love again he didn’t want anything coming between them. “It won’t be long before we make love, I want that more than anything except for wanting you well again.”

“You find me hideous just as Andy did.” Calla tried to turn her body away from him but Daniel didn’t let her.

“No I don’t. I loved you when you were scarred, remember? They didn’t stop me from wanting you or believing you the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. You still are.” Daniel reassured. “I just want you whole and well again then we’ll make love all night until the sun comes up.”

“Promise?” Calla was almost relieved at his words. She wanted to make love with her husband but she was still scared that she wasn’t enough for him and she wouldn’t be able to satisfy him the way Antoinette and Bacchus’ women had. “There’s no one else. My heart couldn’t take it, Danny.”

Danny. Over the years the boys’ name had taken the place of Sa’tan and Master when she was afraid. “I swear there’s no other woman in my life just you and that’s the way I want it to always be.” Daniel opened his arms and Calla curled up in them. “I love you, Kitty. Rest now and don’t be afraid, I’ll always love you Calla. Always.” The sun was bright in the balcony windows. “Stan’s gonna want to see you soon.” He joked.

“I love you, Daniel, more than I ever thought possible. Please, don’t let anyone come between us again.” Calla wrapped herself at Daniel’s side.

“I won’t.” Daniel kissed the top of her head, held her tightly and she and went to sleep. He slept with her.

End Chapter Four
Tarnished Heroes:Detox Mansion
Continue to
Chapter Five