Lovers appear in your room each night
and they whirl you across the floor.
But they always seem to fade away
when your daddy taps on your door.
Angie girl, are you all right?
Tell the radio good-night.
All alone once more, Angie Baby.

Angie Baby
Helen Reddy

Assimilating back into Every Day Normal Mortal Life proved to be a much more daunting task than Calla imagined. The children were a wonderful and constant source of joy and activity and for that she was most grateful. When she first returned home from her extensive stay with Kanan it was April and now it was almost mid-June. Together she and the children dug in the dirt and went to the nursery where they picked out plants. Their new yard had three new flower beds and a new vegetable garden which Nicholas thought of as his own personal property and was very diligent in its care. Colleen was more partial to the wildflower patch they sewed in last spring. It wasn’t a fancy bordered garden like the other four but just a patch of sunny dirt that needed a little cheer.

Last weekend they had a small party in the yard for the twin’s birthday. They turned the big 5. In the fall they were going to start going to school. Her days would not be so full then. The party was nice, Ares, Jack, Sam, Teal’c and a few of the children’s friends from the community center came and played games and ate cake with ice cream. Presents in every conceivable shape and size were torn up and played with. Children laughed and ran around while the adults made conversation and grilled the first burgers and dogs of the season. It was noisy and it was hectic and Calla was glad when it was over and the mess cleaned up. The children and guests had a good time so that made the small aggravation worth the effort.

Yes, she thought as she gazed out the kitchen window, it’s almost Summer. In a few days they would celebrate their fifth wedding anniversary. Calla felt like a hypocrite celebrating such an event since she hadn’t returned to her husband’s bed. Daniel wanted to go to dinner and then perhaps a movie or dancing. In order to get his way he quietly reminded her that she’d only been away from the house to purchase plants or groceries over the last month and a half; an evening out would do her good. Like a good wife, Calla gave in to her husband’s request.

Since her return Daniel had been nothing but warm and genuine. Having taken an less active role with SGC—sort of a work-from-home position, he’d go in a few times a week, see what was going on, pick up work and come home. Daniel spent a lot of time in his new home office with his computer, his books and his artifacts but he was always there whenever she needed him. He never failed to be patient or considerate or loving, even when it was obvious he was frustrated he never raised his voice, not once not even when he was getting her to go O’Malley’s for dinner. When he wanted to, Daniel had a very pleasant and persuasive way about him.

Sometimes she wished he’d get angry. Sometimes she wished he’d go away. Most of the time she just tried to get from one day to the next without any major hurdles, accidents or events to speak of. She did laundry, cleaned the big house, made meals, tended the gardens and played with the children with the constant drone of the radio in the background. Any activity to pass the time would do. Anything at all just so she did not have to sit and think.

The thinking was unavoidable on days when she had to go in and see Dr. O’Gara. The good doctor had done what he could for poor Mrs. Jackson, which wasn’t much. He couldn’t stitch her because the wounds were too old and she had no broken bones to set. O’Gara had suggested the idea of some reconstructive surgery on and in her more tender areas. Omar’s little silver ball and Kanan’s knife had done considerable damage and O’Gara feared it could only be repaired—or at least eased—with surgery. Unless she did so, well, a ‘normal sex life’ would probably not be something she would enjoy in the future.

Calla loathed the idea of a knife coming anywhere near those parts of her again and dismissed his recommendation. Besides, right now, she didn’t really care if she ever engaged in sexual intercourse again. Just having him slide his greased gloved finger into was enough to bring tears. She couldn’t imagine having a……doing……that…..ever again.

While she continued to go to O’Gara and he continued to examine her and monitor her progress, the most he was really able to do was to keep giving her that nice prescription for pain killers. If Janet Frasier had noted Calla’s particular past habit he might have prescribed something milder than the Roxicette he gave her. It was an agreeable little white pill as far as she was concerned and she took them at least as often as the bottle said to and doubled the dose at night. If Daniel were ever to realize that she did not have the one bottle he knew of and often saw her with but that she had two more stashed around the house, he might lose that easy-going tone in his pleasant voice.

“Come on, momma,” Nicky coaxed from the kitchen doorway. “It’s time to water the veggies.”

Calla glanced up at the clock, was it four already? Sure enough it was 4 o’clock right on the dot. “Ok, where’s Coley?” Calla stood up and shook herself out of her daze.

“She’s comin’” Nicky grumbled, “lookin’ for her clippas.”

“Clippers,” Calla said in a soft corrective voice. Nicky sometimes had problems with the hard ‘r’ sound.

Nicky cleared his throat. “Clip-ERs” he said and smiled that winning little-boy grin.

“Ready.” Colleen uttered as she came dashing around the corner.

“Don’t run with those in your hand.” Calla reminded her daughter. “You could slip and get hurt.” She began looking around. “Now where’s my…..”

“Here,” Nicky said and pulled Calla’s ‘ugly garden shirt’ out from behind his back while Coley handed over the wide-brimmed straw hat she wore in the garden.

“Why thank you two.” She said with a smile and took them from her hand. Calla slipped the light cotton shirt on over her pull over, it was a blue paisley straight out of the 60’s and even though it was always referred to as ‘the ugly garden shirt’ she loved the stupid thing. “Well, the plants are waiting, let’s go.” The three of them headed off to the gardens.

Daniel was sitting at his big desk in his big new home office when he saw them pass by the window. Colleen had a watering can in one hand and her mother’s hand in the other, in her back pocket was a set of small clippers. Nicky was dragging the garden hose and holding onto his mother’s other hand. Daniel stopped fooling around with the computer to sit back and watch them.

The three of them stopped short of the sprouting vegetable garden and kicked off their shoes before entering the bed. The only time Calla allowed shoes in the garden was when there was tilling to be done. Holding his finger tips to his lip, he watched through the glass while Calla pointed to the sky and the twins looked up. Off in the distance thunderheads were rolling in off the mountains. From the looks of it she was telling them that Mother Nature was about to water the little sprouts. Nicky planted a fist on his hip and tugged at the hose. Calla gave in and he walked into the garden to give the tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, peas, spinach and assorted other goodies a little drink before Mother Nature got there. Colleen followed her mother over to the new rose bushes and checked them for early signs of blight or bugs. At the first sight of such the offending branch was either sprayed with a mustard and water mixture—if it were a bug—or a soap and water mixture—if it were a fungus. If that didn’t work the branch had to be removed and Calla was guiding Coley’s hand carefully to do just that. Snip. The little branch fell to the greening ground. Off in the vegetable garden Nicky was carefully using the fine-spray setting on the hose to mist his new plants.

They really loved her. If she wasn’t in the garden with them, they were playing music on the radio and singing or she was teaching them to play an instrument. Colleen liked the guitar but Nicky was getting pretty good on the ivory keys. Sometimes she’d take them up to the attic and they would paint pictures in oils. Other times they’d fill the house with the wonderful aromas of fresh baked bread and chocolate chip cookies. She was the first thing they wanted to see in the morning and they last thing they saw at night when Calla tucked them into bed and read each their own story.

Sometimes Daniel felt like an outsider, as he did right now. Looking at his family through a pane of glass rather than being part of it. He could attempt to change that, he could get up right now and go outside and help in the gardens. But he wouldn’t. No, sometimes, like now, not only did he feel like an outsider but as though he would be intruding if he tried to join in.

Nicholas and Colleen hugged Calla all the time, they kissed her, sat on her lap and held her hand. Other than Dr. O’Gara, they were the only people who actually touched her since she came home, not even Ares was allowed within arms reach of her. If he tried to reach out for her sometimes she’d just cringe a little bit and pull away but if he moved too soon or said something off she’d skitter away from him.

Sitting in the living room after dinner with coffee seemed all right with her. They would sit and talk so long as they were not in too close proximity. The evening would pass sweetly almost the way it had once been but then she was off to bed and he was left alone. Calla moved most of her clothes into the small guest bedroom down the hall soon after she came home and she didn’t show any signs of wanting to move back in with him. Not even just to sleep next to each other.

A dim flash of light caught his attention, lightning was flashing off in the distance. Calla stopped fiddling with the rose bushes and turned toward it. A smile crossed her face as she tilted her head back and welcomed the coming rain. For the first time in a very long time she looked peaceful almost happy as the sprinkle of water sprayed down. The thunder crashed and the children ran toward her. Nicky dropped his hose in the dirt to go to her side. Daniel wished he could hear what she was saying to his frightened children but whatever it was it washed away those frowns and looks of despair like the rain washed away the soil from their feet. The three of them formed a circle and danced around in the soft rain before gathering their gardening tools and dashing back to the house.

The kitchen was on the other side of the wall and he could hear them laughing as they came inside, Calla told them to find towels and dry off. A moment later, looking out through the open door he saw the two of them pass by on their way to the stairs and their rooms. Nicky charged ahead but Coley turned to him as she went on her way and gave her Daddy a little wave and a smile before ascending the stairs.

With the garden chores done for the day, Calla would be in the kitchen starting dinner. Daniel put the computer on stand-by and walked out of his office. “Hi,” he said in a meek voice as he entered the kitchen.

“Hi,” Calla returned as she looked up at him and then went back to seasoning the steak she was preparing for dinner.

Daniel ventured a few steps into the kitchen. “I saw you out there with them.”

“You were spying on us?”

He wasn’t sure whether or not it was an accusation, he couldn’t tell from her tone of voice. “No,” Daniel said lightly. “Just watching you through my window.”

“Is this something you do often, Daniel?” Calla flipped the London Broil and began to spread garlic, salt and pepper on the other side. She already knew this was something he liked to do, it didn’t matter where he was in the house if he could see her then she could feel the weight of his eyes on her.

“I suppose.” Daniel admitted. “You looked really happy and content out there.”

“The children like the gardens.” She remarked and then looked up at him. “You can join us whenever you want. This is your house, you don’t have to watch.”

“This is our house and thanks for the invitation.” Daniel smiled. That Connection was still there. She could still read him like a book and poke around in his head whenever she wanted to. If he gave it a shot maybe he could do the same.

“Dinner will be ready in about half an hour, is there anything I can do for you?”

That was Calla-Code for you’re in the way, buddy, what do you want? “No.” He said slowly. “How about you?” She looked up at him with a quizzical expression. “Can I help you with dinner?”

“If you wish, yes. Are you hungry, Daniel?”

“I just want to help. What can I do?”

Calla pointed him toward the fridge and asked him if he could make a salad to go with dinner, Daniel said he thought he could handle that. They spent the next half an hour making small but very nice conversation while they made dinner. Maybe she had a good point, maybe if he wanted to be more a part of her life (and the lives of his children) he should stop waiting for her to come to him and take a more active role.

Nicky and Coley dashed down the stairs and into the kitchen to show their mother their newly washed hands. Calla pronounced them clean and asked them to go and set the table for dinner. Nicky grabbed plates and Colleen grabbed the silverware and off they went to do as their mother asked.

As usual, dinner was delicious. The family sat around the dinning table eating steak, salad, French fries with some of Calla’s home made bread. Chocolate chip cookies—also fresh made—and coffee were had in the living room when the dishes were cleared and the mess dealt with. Nicky and Coley wanted to watch a movie in the basement—the real estate agent had been right about that basement, it was a perfect rec room for the kids. Calla wanted them to practice their music lessons first. Nicky quickly ran through a rendition of “The Entertainer” on the piano and Coley went through one of Gordon Lightfoots’ “If You Could Read My Mind” on the guitar. Daniel thought about his daughter’s selection while she sang and played the tune and felt it possible that she was trying to tell him something. Yes, if he used his own ability to poke around in Calla’s mind, he was sure the tale her thoughts would tell would be more than your average dime-store paperback allowed.

With hugs, kisses and smiles, Calla said they could go and watch “Shrek 2” in the basement until bedtime. They grabbed two handfuls of cookies and dashed off toward the door.

“You look tired,” Daniel commented from his chair across from her. “The bulk of the storm is still a ways off, why don’t you go upstairs and have a bath?” He stopped for a second and then added, “in the big tub. I’m sure your back would appreciate it.” Not only did Calla not sleep with him she didn’t step foot into the bedroom they once shared unless she was picking up or dropping off his laundry. If she wanted to shower or bathe she used the bathroom in Coley’s room. Looking over at her, her eyes seemed to suggest that the idea appealed to her. “Do you remember how to work it?” Calla sipped from the last of the coffee in her cup and nodded. “So go on,” he prodded, “if it gets late I’ll put the kids to bed.” She just sat there waiting. Waiting for something just a wee bit more from him. “I won’t come up and bother you, you can lock the bedroom and bathroom doors if you want.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind putting them to bed?”

More Calla-Speak. Translation; Are you really going to leave me alone? “I don’t mind. You can go and kiss them when you’re done.”

“Maybe I will.” Calla stood up and stretched her back a little way. “Thank you, Daniel.”

Translation; I’m going to trust you on this so don’t blow it. “Sure.” He watched her take the coffee mug into the kitchen and heard her put it in the sink. She crossed through the living room again a few seconds later, smiled over her shoulder at him and made her way up the stairs. Daniel wandered into his office and turned on the computer. Overhead he heard her footsteps as she walked down the hall to their bedroom and then the sound of water. More footsteps going back the other way back to her room. A little way down the hall and he couldn’t hear her anymore, she’d reached the other side of the house. The computer came out of hibernation and he opened the DSL line. He searched aimlessly through government and public databases for information on his latest project. Getting lost in the images on the screen he didn’t hear it when she came back to the bedroom above him.

End of Chapter One
Daughter of the Gods: Time Out Of Mind
Continue to
Chapter Two